Weekend Parting Shot: Free Elephants and an Existential Ph.D. Crisis

AP Photo, File

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers,

Well, this weekend, Mrs. Brown and I were hoping to revive our tradition of Saturday morning coffee around a cheery blaze in the fire pit with Charlie Parker playing in the background. But the clouds are moving in with predictions of valley rain and mountain snow, followed by valley snow.

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Ever get the feeling that the universe is just trolling you?

Free while supplies last

One of the hallmark personality traits of the progressive movement is the desire to make the world a better place by forcing the rest of the world to "do the right thing" — whatever the right thing is at the moment. 

Case in point: Germany's environment ministry recently called for a limit on the importing of hunting trophies. In this case, we are talking about elephants. The illicit ivory trade has been a scourge for years and has had a devastating effect on the rhino population. But in Botswana, the elephant situation is a different matter altogether. 

It seems elephants are doing remarkably well in Botswana. The country banned elephant hunting in 2014 but reinstated the hunts in 2019 after hearing from irate members of some of the communities. The creatures have made quite the comeback. Around 130,000 elephants call Botswana home, and they have taken to ravaging crops, destroying property, and even trampling people. The trophy-hunting business helps keep the elephant population in check and adds some revenue to the economy. People can obtain elephant hunting licenses to help meet an annual quota. 

Botswana’s President, Mokgweetsi Masisi, is not impressed with yet another cadre of foreigners deciding they know what is best for the rest of the world, specifically Botswana. According to the New York Post, Masisi has threatened to send no less than 20,000 elephants to Germany. Speaking to the newspaper Bild, Masisi said the Germans should “live together with the animals, in the way you are trying to tell us to.” He added, “We would like to offer such a gift to Germany.”

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A spokeswoman for the environmental ministry said that it was unaware of Botswana's concerns, adding, “In light of the alarming loss of biological diversity, we have a special responsibility to do everything to ensure the import of hunting trophies is sustainable and legal.”

Sure, environmentalists like to talk about elephants, but who is going to walk it, feed it, and clean up after it?

An existential egg event

Victoria Burgher, who is a doctoral student and researcher at the University of Westminster, has apparently found herself in the midst of a progressive conundrum. She is trying to find ways to "confront whiteness." Of course, she is. In her article for the Holt Journal for Artistic Research, she chronicled her attempt. It involved crushing porcelain eggshells while reciting a poem about whiteness. You can read the poem at The College Fix, but here is an excerpt of her deathless verse:

I use porcelain to think about whiteness. 

Whiteness is a way of seeing, thinking, and acting in the world.

Whiteness.

It's not an easy subject.

It creates discomfort.

There's more, but you get the gist. She wrote: “The performance ended with me knocking the porcelain pot off its plinth, which smashed loudly and violently on the floor.”

Loosely translated: Porcelain = Whiteness. Not only is porcelain used as an example of pure, civilized whiteness, but porcelain cups can contain things like coffee, sugar, and chocolate, which were and are all products of colonialism and slavery.

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This performance, however, caused a problem for Burgher. She realized that in highlighting the problem of whiteness, she may have also emphasized her own privilege:

While my aim was to spotlight whiteness for all the right reasons – to expose its role in oppression and anti-black racism – perhaps this performance was actually an example of peak whiteness. Literally making whiteness centre stage even if my motives were to critique it. Performing the shattering of whiteness is one thing, but the reality is something else. A white person can choose to lose their whiteness, not behave white, but what does this look and feel like? What does it require? The hypervisibility of this performance was painfully uncomfortable for me, but my white privilege is such that I can choose to occupy this position as and when it suits me – I don’t have to live it. [sic]

She also makes badges that say “White but Working on It” and “White People Are Part of the Problem.” Place your order now. Operators are standing by.

As James Earl Jones put it in "Field of Dreams," "You're seeing a whole team of psychiatrists, aren't you?"

Can anyone name something else made out of porcelain? Here's one: toilet bowls, which is where I see someone's career headed after graduation. 

Wine recommendation

Because if you can't have chocolate or coffee in your porcelain cup, you might as well have wine. May I suggest the Redtree Pinot Noir? It goes perfectly with guilt and privilege.

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This will only set you back around $13, although Mrs. Brown found it in the clearance rack for $7.00. It turned out to be a great little bottle. It has a good bouquet and the taste of red fruits, with a little blackberry for a jammy flavor. That is offset by a trace of smoke and some chocolate and vanilla. It's lighter red, leaning a little to the acidic side, but with low tannins, making it very smooth and extremely easy to drink.

You can pair it up with the usual suspects when it comes to red wines, like beef, but you may want to drink it with a nice piece of salmon or some chicken with a savory baste, And it is one of those reds that do very well on their own. If the weather is nice where you live, or if it is finally turning into spring, this is a nice back-deck red for a warm evening.

That's it for me. Have a great weekend, and I'll see you next time. 

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