With Thanksgiving on the way, I am off to the bank tomorrow to take out a second mortgage to buy a turkey for the family. I have no choice since the blood bank told me that I have to wait before I sell any more plasma for groceries and beer. Thanksgiving abounds with family traditions. In our house, there are two.
On Monday evening, I will begin my yearly campaign to cook this year’s turkey in a deep fryer — and to buy a deep fryer. This tradition goes back to our first Thanksgiving together. My wife will say no. She is a turkey purist and enjoys cooking the bird in the oven. As always, this ritual will go on until Wednesday afternoon, at which time I will shut my trap for another year.
The second is the stuffing debate. My wife makes phenomenal stuffing, I mean absolutely perfect. But since I was a kid, I’ve always been a fan of Stove Top Stuffing. I have no rationale for this; it is what it is. I will suggest adding a bit of Stove Top Stuffing as a side dish to complement her homemade stuffing. This proposal will also be denied. Truth be told, her stuffing is superior, and at this point, I just keep making the suggestion for the fun of it.
Since this will be the last Parting Shot before the holiday, allow me to wish each of you a happy, peaceful, and blessed Thanksgiving.
Racism is racism. And school spirit is also racism.
You have to hand it to Leftists. If it were not for them, we would be so short of racism that we would have to rely on the Klan, skinheads, and the usual suspects for it. But with progressives in power, everyone is receiving 100% of the USDA Recommended Daily Allowance of Racism.
Over in San Diego, California (naturally), a junior high boy identified by The College Fix as J.A. attended a La Jolla High School football game. He wanted to show his team pride. So he put eye black on his face. J.A. is white. He used black paint. He was not the only one in the stadium who did so, and according to reports, a black security guard told J.A. that he should make the spikes of his eye black bigger by adding even more of it. By all indications, J.A. behaved himself at the game. Thus, a fun time was had by all, at least by those on the winning side.
However, someone in the stadium that night decided that J.A. could use a dose of social justice and needed to be pulled over to have his privilege checked. The following week, Muirlands Middle School principal Jeff Luna cued up “The Imperial March” and summoned J.A.’s parents to his chambers. J.A. was suspended. J.A.’s crime? Do you really need me to tell you? If you answered “blackface,” you win!
J.A. told his parents that he did not even know what blackface was until Luna pronounced the sentence. Why was the face paint offensive? Well, as previously mentioned, the paint was black, as were the majority of the players on the visiting team.
So J.A., who looks like he weighs all of 95 pounds soaking wet, triggered a team of high school football players with his colonialist racism. I’m sure all of the starters are still in therapy and have been issued emotional support hamsters. You can’t make this stuff up. Well, you can if you are Muirlands Middle School principal Jeff Luna.
The group Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE) sent a letter to Luna asking him to lift J.A.’s suspension since he did not engage in any misconduct and only painted his face to show school spirit. FIRE noted that the use of eye black began with athletes and spread to spectators. FIRE also pointed out that J.A. was not in “blackface.”
The district, however, was unmoved. In a letter supporting J.A.’s suspension, the district said in part, “Schools have a responsibility to maintain and encourage proper standards of behavior for all students.” The letter also stated that suspension is a “necessary tool” and a “valuable educational device.” Someone should tell Principal Luna that the word “tool” has several definitions, and he is embodying one of them.
Wine Recommendation: Because you may need a belt when that cousin with the fuchsia hair and 97 face piercings announces his pronouns before the cranberries stop jiggling.
White meat calls for white wine. That being said, a Pinot Noir would also go well with your Thanksgiving meal. But for turkey, you may want to do a Pinot Gris, champagne, or a Chardonnay. Save them for next Thursday. For today, I grabbed the 2020 Hay Maker Sauvignon Blanc from Marlborough, New Zealand.
This is a nice, zesty, and light wine. It has the requisite dryness but with the added bonus of just a little sweetness. Lemons, a dash of grapefruit, cut grass, and honey come together. But the honey doesn’t compromise the acidity. And it finishes well across the palate. To be honest, as a Sauvignon Blanc, this is a warm-weather wine and should pair well with cheese or shellfish. And since the pilgrims likely had shellfish, or at least clams, at the first Thanksgiving, you might want to try using it for an appetizer wine, especially if you live in a hotter climate. Or you could just keep a bottle in your coat for when your cousin starts talking. This wine retails anywhere from $12 to $15, making it a decent fit for the budget without worrying about quality.
With all that in mind, I leave you with a quote from Chef Andrew Gruel:
Most people who taste wine have no idea what they are tasting. You actually need to train your pallet to “taste” good wine - seed your mind with hundreds of flavor profiles against which to compare. There are amazing wines for $7 that crush $200 bottles. Much of wine is pomp and… https://t.co/7fCUGGvp9K
— Chef Andrew Gruel (@ChefGruel) November 17, 2023
He’s right, of course. I’m one of the most pretentious people I know. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the best wine is what you like. It’s even better when shared with friends, family, a date, or your husband or wife.
That’s it for me. Take care, and I’ll see you next week.
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