Happy Friday, gentle readers. Who’s with me in voting on a motion to vacate Mondays and make it an official three-day weekend year-round? Don’t worry. I suspect all the Democrats will vote with us. It’s practically a lock.
I have a birthday coming up. If you didn’t get me anything, don’t feel bad. I’m not big on gifts. It goes back to my childhood. When I was a kid, we were so poor. (How poor were you?) We were so poor that every Christmas, we exchanged glances. Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Try the prime rib, and don’t forget to tip your waitress!
I forget who I stole that joke from.
Actually, I am celebrating by going to a wine festival this weekend to try wines that I probably cannot afford to drink in a town in which I cannot afford to live. If I encounter anything truly exceptional, I’ll pass it along next week.
Too good not to share
I don’t care what you think of DJT or MTG. I’m sure the gentlewoman from Georgia set some progressive teeth on edge with this recent post on X:
If Trump becomes Speaker of the House, the House chamber will be like a Trump rally everyday!!
It would be the House of MAGA!!!
— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) October 5, 2023
According to The Hill, Chuck Schumer replied, “No thanks, we’re good. We’ve seen a Trump rally at the Capitol already.” Comedy gold! Almost as good as “Nobody pull the fire alarm!” I dunno, “House of MAGA” has a weird sound to it. Like it should be the name of a lingerie store or a vape shop. Ask Lauren Boebert. “Trump Day” sounds better. Kind of like if Charlie Kirk was a member of the original Mickey Mouse Club.
TikTok still continues to ruin the world
All joking aside, there have been many TikTok trends that have proven injurious or even fatal to young people who did not have the judgment to refrain from following them. This is yet another reason (combined with the fact that the thing is just a dressed-up CCP spy app) that it should be confined to Dante’s Ninth Circle.
The newest trend makes me weep for the next generation. I don’t care if there is a conservative majority in the House and Senate for the next fifty years, everyone has to be their original gender and gets a Bible for Christmas. We are doomed. And here’s why.
The New York Post, between posting celebrity gossip, horoscopes, and bikini pictures, reports that the latest viral TikTok trend is Bone Smashing. This particular trend has young men hitting themselves in the face with a hammer or some other heavy object. The idea is that doing so will create micro fractures, and then the jaw will heal in such a way that it gives the man a more chiseled look to his face.
I’m not kidding. People are doing this. The half-wit in question may have to perform this bone-smashing multiple times to achieve the desired effect. Or disfigure himself permanently. Dr. Prem Tripathi, a San Francisco plastic surgeon, took to the platform to say, “I honestly never thought I’d have to come on here and say this, but please don’t intentionally break the bones in your face.” I’m with you, doc.
I know the younger generations think they are smarter than those who came before them. It’s that way with every generation. But to you youngsters, I say no, you are not. How do I know this? Because no one in previous generations declared their gender to be “cabbage,” ate Tide Pods, or HIT THEMSELVES IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER!
You are not smarter than us. You are dumber. If you want to hit something with a hammer, try hitting your smartphone. You might pick up a few IQ points.
Wine Recommendation: Since I’m not getting presents, I might as well get tipsy.
Someone on here said I should review more Australian wines. I read that and thought, “Okay.” So, meet the 2019 Penfolds Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet. You can’t get much more Australian with a name like “Koonunga.”
Personally, I found this to be an understated blend, and that is one of its best points. You can enjoy this wine without any particular flavor overpowering the taste. It is very easy on the palate, with just the right hint of smoky dryness. It is an unassuming wine that can slip right in with any traditional red pairings. Some call it bold, but it pretty much runs down the middle on tannins and acidity. This makes it very drinkable for anyone except someone who only leans toward sweeter wines. It has a silky start and finishes very well. It is also reasonably priced, checking in at anywhere from $12.00 to $14.00 per bottle.
That is it for me. Have a great weekend, and I’ll see you on the flip side.
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