Your Election Day Break: AOC Fixes Her Pronouns and a Nation Sighs With Relief

Yes, I know, the fate of the nation hangs by a thread. The Red Wave may be dammed up by malfeasance, shenanigans, and chicanery at the polls. Ballots will be lost and found, water lines will break, lawsuits will be filed, decisions reversed, protests held, and the Republic may finally be transed into a democracy. The country is headed to hell in a handbasket if all of these close races do not break for conservatives.

This is the most important election of our lives since the last one and until the next one.

Actually, I have a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach as well, and I am ready for the whole thing to be over. I will be just as anxious as any of you when the ballot counting begins tonight.

So take a break for a few minutes, relax, have a glass of whatever beverage you favor, and read the story of a heroine of democracy who has managed to salvage her campaign at the last minute. It’s a true story of an underdog rising victorious over the patriarchy to overcome a devastating blow to her struggle.

AOC has found her pronouns, and the nation is at peace. Word has it Joe Biden has sent out fudge ripple to the entire DNC to celebrate the moment.

According to Fox News on today of all days, one of AOC’s followers on Instagram wrote, “Please add pronouns to your IG profile, thank you for all you do for ALL.” The congresswoman was concerned enough to remove the air pump from her left ear and check the pressure with a tire gauge in her right ear before posting the following:

AOC apologizes for not having pronouns in her Instagram bio pic.twitter.com/ZUPnZ8ot2E

— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) November 8, 2022

If you care — I know, it’s a big “if” — her pronouns are she/her.

A few thoughts:

A sitting congresswoman has nothing better to do on Election Day? Granted, she is probably, and unfortunately, a lock for her district in her race against Tina Forte. Sadly enough, Forte actually seems to care about her district, while AOC is playing around on IG. Of course, given her penchant for diplomacy and her intellectual firepower, people like Kathy Hochul may have asked Ms. Ocasio-Cortez to sit this one out. On the other hand, Lee Zeldin may be buying her air time.
Her pronouns “fell off?” How in the hell does something “fall off” Instagram? How could she let that happen? Instagram is one of the few things at which she is actually adept. If she is losing her Insta-edge, what is she going to do with her time? Maybe she can open an Esty store. Or practice her dance moves.
Finally, serious adults don’t care about pronouns. Can people not tell she is a she? I get it, if you post your pronouns, you support the LGBTQTKDEKNVWOIHT32@#%^&$&(?)/+=-><! movement. But actual adults with real lives don’t give a rat’s rear end about pronouns. This goes a long way to explaining why AOC isn’t worried about her race. And why her supporters are worried about her pronouns.

So rest soundly, citizen. We may all be subjects of a totalitarian state by this time tomorrow, but AOC has her pronouns straight. All is well.