3 Weird Things About the U.S. This Pro-American Canadian Doesn't Get

There's a "THANK YOU PRESIDENT BUSH" mug on my desk with an American flag sticking out of it.

The most popular newspaper column I ever wrote was called "I'm An American Trapped in a Canadian's Body."

I know all the words to "The Star Spangled Banner" -- although a lifetime of Hockey Night in Canada probably helped.

All that to say:

There are a few things this (rare) pro-American Canadian still doesn't understand about your wonderful country.

I'm not pretending to ask these questions either, like this shameful and embarrassing federal government employee, whose CBC TV show is paid for by my extorted tax dollars. Note that while ostensibly mocking Americans, all he does is accidentally highlight how patient and polite you guys really are: