And KDJ's Clown of the Week Award Goes To...

AP Photo/Julie Jacobson

There has been a change at "KDJ's Clown of the Week Award" (KCWA).

With unrepining alacrity, Jasmine Crockett has once again dared to dazzle the KCWA academy (me) in a way that cannot be ignored. Crockett has been in the running every week thus far. She could win every week, but what fun would that be?

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Instead, the academy (I) has (have) decided to include a special segment every week called "Crockett's Weekly Codswallop" where we (I) will showcase Crockett's hilarious and yet tragic need for attention and burning desire to convince everyone interested that the silicone chip inside her head has been indeed switched to overload.

Here goes the first one!

Crockett's Weekly Codswallop!

Texas Rep. Jasmine Crockett has been working overtime to replace AOC as the Democrats' favorite hottish psychochick.

Crockett spent the week obeisantly regurgitating talking points sent to her by the DNC CIA.

Here she goes off on DOGE, then whines about Musk's contract with the FAA to upgrade our aging air traffic controlling systems. And it isn't a good week for Crockett unless she gets to screech about "white privilege" before once again crying about "President Musk" as her Operation Mockingbird masters commanded. And who can resist calling Trump "orange Jesus"?  

I wish Crockett would just challenge AOC to a couple rounds of foxy boxing to see who is the most annoying Democratic congressional coquette.

Now, let's get to the award portion of the program!

Clown #1: Joy Reid

After years of profitably firehosing racism to a dwindling audience, Joy Reid is finally unemployed.

If you haven't seen Reid cry because she will no longer be paid millions of dollars to spew hatred at peckerwoods in MAGA caps, take a minute, pour a bourbon, and treat yourself.

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My favorite part is where she states that her racial jingoist program had "value." Au revoir, Joy, you won't be missed.

Clown #2: Rachel Maddow

I never thought pouring a bourbon and watching Joy Reid getting fired could get any better, but then I saw Rachel Maddow call her employer, MSNBC, a racist ON AIR for firing racist Reid. Pour another whiskey and watch Rachel Maddow call MSNBC "racist" for firing Reid and another minority anchor.

FACT-O-RAMA! Publicly calling your employer "racist" is never a good career move.

In Maddow's desperate attempt to humiliate her boss, she got most of her crew fired.

Less than 24 hours later, MSNBC fired all but three of the people, even the white devils, who worked on Maddow's fledgling show.

Megyn Kelly had the best take on Maddow's madness.

Clown #3: Jake Tapper

Perennial punchinello Tapper makes his first appearance on the KCWA stage.

After years of successfully helping to hide Joe Biden's mental incompacity and failing bowels, Tapper had the audacity to write a book about how "the media" hid Biden's mental incompacity and failing bowels.

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Related: Camilla Parker Bowles Reportedly Can't Stop Talking About Biden's Fart Heard 'Round the World

Displaying a complete lack of self-awareness, or perhaps reading the writing on the wall and waiting for his own pink slip, Tapper penned a book about Biden's flailing health after stating for years that Biden wasn't a breathing turnip.

Clown #4: Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy — last-minute candidate!

After years of hoovering billions of American dollars, ostensibly to fight Russia, Zelenskyy showed up to the White House today and behaved like Veruca Salt.

Apparently, Zelenskyy, who was a darling to the Biden administration, thought he'd tug on Superman's cape, and wow, that didn't go well.

JD Vance opened by telling Zelenskyy that he needs to show President Trump some gratitude for all the money and military equipment Trump has sent to Ukraine. He also warned Zelenskyy that Ukraine is in a bad spot and getting testy with the one country that can save his nation might not be his best approach.

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Then, Trump took Zelenskyy to the woodshed and clown-slapped some common sense into his entitled head.

SPANK-O-RAMA! Vance also reminded the recalcitrant Zelenskyy that he went to Pennsylvania and campaigned for Kamala Harris. Hilarious!

Pour bourbon number three and watch Vance and Trump give Zelenskyy a one-two gut punch of reality:

"You’re gambling with the lives of millions of people," Trump bellowed. "You’re gambling with World War III."

The only thing this fight lacked was having Trump smack Zelenskyy in the head with a folding chair.

Trump immediately sent the following on Truth Social:

A Statement from President Donald J. Trump

“We had a very meaningful meeting in the White House today. Much was learned that could never be understood without conversation under such fire and pressure. It’s amazing what comes out through emotion, and I have determined that President Zelenskyy is not ready for Peace if America is involved, because he feels our involvement gives him a big advantage in negotiations. I don’t want advantage, I want PEACE. He disrespected the United States of America in its cherished Oval Office. He can come back when he is ready for Peace.”

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The word on the street is that Trump booted Zelenskyy from the Oval Office.

As is the trouble with this weekly award, there is so much stoogery going on that picking a winner is never easy.

That said, I can't think of anything as dumb as jousting with Trump and Vance, who represent a potential 12 years of power in the U.S., as they try to save your nation from being slaughtered by Russians.

Zelenskyy's surd attempt to bite the hand that feeds him (and his soldiers, citizens, and cabinet members) deliciously blew up in his smug face and may leave Ukraine vulnerable to Putin's military. This is unspeakably stupid.

This week's Clown of the Week Award easily goes to Ukrainian dictator Volodymyr Zelenskyy, who was last seen stomping off like a drunk chick getting out of her jabroni boyfriend's IROC and expecting to be chased.

Na zdorovya!

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