We live in historic times. Americans are struggling to put food on the table under the purposeful crush of Bidenomics. WWIII is brewing in all the usual places. The three-year crime wave is devastating our largest cities, and illegal immigration will administer the coup de grace. Drag queens fight for their "right" to wiggle their penises in our children's faces. The Marxists are winning.
Just when I am sure they are going to finish us off, the bolshies have pulled a "Dunkirk" and are turning their guns toward other targets. This time, they want the birds.
The American Ornithological Society announced today it will rename birds whose names are “offensive” and “exclusionary.”
— Brandon P (@Brandopinione) November 1, 2023
I guess in this case the bird is not the word.
via @DailyCallerhttps://t.co/XPdqDPmP2R
While you spend your days working, schooling your kids, or tending to your community, the blue-haired, testicle-haters from the far-left are looking for something to be offended by.
FACT-O-RAMA! Since this story is about seismic stupidity, I am going to see how many lame-a** bird jokes and puns I can squeeze in. Yes, I am counting "Big-ot Bird (DING!) and Lefty loons" (DING!)
It appears the battle of the birds may have started with the enraged social justice warriors at the American Ornithological Society (AOS), who have taken it upon themselves to re-moniker "all English bird names currently named after people within its geographic jurisdiction." They also found that some birds were named after offensive humans.
FACT-O-RAMA! the "long-tailed duck" was once called the "old squaw," which guilt-ridden white people decided was offensive to elderly Native American women.
In other words, they are renaming every bird named after a white person or a person the bird-lovers deem "hateful."
But wait, there's more cringey, woke dopiness!
Ornithologists have long grappled with historical and contemporary practices that contribute to the exclusion of Black, Indigenous, and other people of color, including how birds are named. For example, in 2020, the AOS renamed a small prairie songbird found on the Great Plains to “Thick-billed Longspur.” The bird’s original name—honoring John P. McCown, an amateur naturalist who later became a general in the Confederate Army during the U.S. Civil War—was perceived as a painful link to slavery and racism.
The true humor in this paragraph stems from the words "grappled," "painful link," and the "R" word: RACISM!
FACT-O-RAMA! "Thick-billed Longspur" is offense to tall cowboys and fat dudes named William. Its also a good name for a 1970s male p*rn star.
Call me a silly goose (DING!) but I smell yet another attack on, shall we say, American people whose skin lacks pigment, much like the pale-billed woodpecker, (DING!). Why are they on the warpath for names of English origin? Aww, you know why you filthy colonizer!
Here is the kicker: many of the birds were named after bird-loving naturalists who gave them their evil caucasian names.
"Exclusionary naming conventions developed in the 1800s, clouded by racism and misogyny, don't work for us today, and the time has come for us to transform this process and redirect the focus to the birds, where it belongs," said AOS's bird-brained (DING!) CEO, Judith Scarl.
The Marxists, who are eagerly re-writing every facet of American history and culture, have recently had their tailfeathers ruffled (DING!) over dozens of birds named after white people, including:
- Scott's Oriole: named after General Winfield Scott, who fought in the War with Mexico
- Anna's Hummingbird: COLONIZER
- Steller's Jay: naturalist, one of the first COLONIZERS to step foot in Alaska
- Cooper's Hawk: naturalist COLONIZER
- Wilson's Warbler: naturalist, COLONIZER
- Wilson's Snipe: see above.
I fear our beloved national bird will now be called the Alopecia Eagle.
RAPTOR-O-RAMA! The National Audubon Society, arguably the most well-known bird club in the world, decided to drop the "Audubon" from its name due to namesake John James Audubon's "legacy of white supremacy." The NYC Audubon Society followed the lead and changed its name too. One really has to walk on eggshells (DING!) around these bird incels.
It's clear the permavirgin bird-watchers have something to prove and don't want to be left out of the cultural Marxist war taking place throughout every aspect of society, though I find it odd that, according to these stats and photos, the angry egg-huggers are predominantly white boomers. The guy who wrote the article is even named "White."
Time is life, and life is short. It seems to me that these people who are looking to rename a bird named for a naturalist who happened to be white are all a bunch of boobies (DING!) and Satanic Goatsuckers (DING!) who need a Shag (DING!).
They are all acting like a bunch of little bustards (DING!) and dickcissels (DING!). I've had enough of these tiny sky tyrants (DING!).
DING! count = 14. Not too shabby, (DING!) Cheap, but I'll take it; make it 15!
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