Announcement: Liberal Fact-Checkers Have Ruined April Fools' Day

If you think lefty fact-checkers are GLUTEN-free, you should test them for humor.

I was up until 2:00 a.m. writing April Fools’ Day story headlines and articles only to learn PJ Media would not be posting funny stories today because angry, self-loathing, “progressive” fact-checkers aren’t familiar with humor, and we at PJ Media are too busy to explain the meaning of sarcasm to them every time we post an article.

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That means we won’t be posting OBVIOUS joke stories like this:

Nancy Pelosi Injured When Rare Springtime Florida Frost Forces Lizard People To Fall From Trees

Nancy Pelosi was visiting her new home in Florida and apparently didn’t check the weather report. She was sleeping comfortably in a nearby tree when temperatures dropped to unseasonably low levels, forcing lizards of all sorts to freeze up and fall to the ground.

“I swear, Rick DeSantis purposely did this to me and my people,” an angry Pelosi stated from a local hospital, which, thanks to DeSantis, was not full of COVID patients.

Nationwide, QAnon Telegram channels celebrated “Jewish space lasers” for changing Florida’s weather and causing Pelosi’s fall from a palm tree.

Though Pelosi did suffer a concussion, her transgender physician, Dr. Mangina, said it could have been much worse.

“The aging birther Speaker is lucky she fell into a large pile of empty wine boxes, which serendipitously fell RIGHT under where she was sleeping.”

MORE LACK OF HUMOR

Thanks to the persnickety, dull, obtuse left, we also won’t be posting;

Godzilla Attacks Chicago, Gets Killed in BLM Riot

“This never happened to my family in Toyko,” bellowed an obviously distraught Son of Godzilla.

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You also won’t see these tantalizing headlines;

Drunk Hillary Clinton Ejected From Jamba Juice For Demanding Baby-Blood Smoothie

Transgender Woman Loses ‘Her Penis’ in Bizarre Tampon Accident, Rejoices: Two Hours Later Wants It Back

Emoluments Clause Anyone? Joe Biden Pens Deal With Chinese Depends Adult Diapers 

Biden and Kamala Impeached and Convicted, House Declares Trump President!

Oh wait, I’ll hold on to that headline for a while…

Sorry folks, don’t blame us. We are more than happy to do these all day. As usual, liberals ruin everything. Thanks to the “progressives” WE CAN’T HAVE FUNNY THINGS!

Are you tired of humorless commies stifling free speech, free press, and just plain funny stuff? Become a PJ Media VIP member NOW. Believe me when I tell you the left is trying to kill off PJ Media because that’s what communists do! Use promo code WOKE to save a few bucks. Your gas tank will thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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