You Have Nothing Left to Threaten Us With, Joe

(AP Photo/Warner Bros. Pictures, Stephen Vaughan)

We are hours away from Biden’s State of the Union address. His first year reminds me of a horse in a barn fire. He must feel like the high-level mobster who has brought unwanted attention to La Casa Nostra and has now, tonight, been called to the carpet to explain himself to the leaders of the five families. And We, the families People, are cranky.


His approval rates, though tilted in his favor, are lower than Ambergris. Inflation is growing like a wart on a forefinger. Gas prices are keeping people home.

Biden now exudes a Hitler-in-the-bunker attitude, shouting threats to his citizens or simply ignoring them when they ask for some actual leadership.

Our Cabbage-in-Chief has no “Ws” to brag about tonight. Unlike President Trump, who was only happy to report his, and our, successes, and there were many, Biden’s first year was an ongoing series of pimp-slaps for our once-great nation. Instead of tweeting victories like his predecessor, Biden has only barked angry threats to the American people, “Wear a mask, stay at home, get the shots, obey me or else, serf.”

Real presidents offer promise and deliver victories. Trash leaders like Biden screech warnings and threaten punishment.

One year later, Biden’s ammo box of threats is empty.


Biden has no more COVID-19 variants to threaten us with. His laughable ultimatum to get the vaccine or embrace a “winter of severe illness and death” reminds me of my alcoholic grandmother who would scream at us kids that running around the house will make the pressure-cooker explode and incinerate the whole family. Wrong again, Joe, it never happened.

Biden, in his own “let them eat cake” moment, fired people for not getting a shot that we now know doesn’t keep us from catching or spreading the Hong Kong Fluey. His administration has pushed needless masks and worse, shots for kids who rarely show symptoms, much less die of the Bat Stew Flu. As Ricky Ricardo would say to Lucy, Gropey Joe “has some splainin’ to do.”

But he won’t. Biden will wave a victory flag despite losing the war. He will repeat the joke that we citizens are too psychologically damaged to enjoy his phantom triumphs.


As families struggle to make ends meet and Biden keeps spending mad stacks on Russian oil, instead of opening the Keystone XL pipeline, the tyrant in charge will look into the camera, tell us everything is great, and blame conservatives for the problems our nation still faces. Expect him to push transgender causes and call CRT-concerned parents “terrorists.” He will play to his base. These are the maneuvers of tyrants. It’s not my fault, it’s YOURS.

Worse yet, half of the members of our nation’s Congress will stand up repeatedly to applaud the naked emperor.


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