It seems pretty obvious to me as to who the freedom-hating bolshies are (pro tip: if you watch and believe MSNBC, you’re suspect). Yet some of the guilty have no idea that they are utopian socialists. Kind of like your uncle who kills a bottle of Gordon’s London gin by 4 p.m. Sunday and wets his pants at the family bar-b-que but has no idea he is a super-soaker.
So to clear things up for the confused, I’ve come up with a test. Remember, admitting you’re a traitorous, Castro-tastic bootlicker is half the battle.
Should EVERYONE take this quiz? No. For instance, if you were angered at the Canadian truckers having fun in hot tubs, enjoying pig roasts, and playing hockey in what is possibly the world’s most peaceful protest, but cheered on Antifa and BLM as they shot 12 cops and then shot 12 more, and caused over $1 billion in damage, well, you should save time and start learning the Chinese alphabet.
So here it goes, and remember: there are a LOT of wrong answers.
WARNING! When the George Washington-like patriots of the country take our nation back, (and we shall) we WILL not forget our neighbors who tried to change our flag’s colors to red, white, and pinko!
1) When you watched the tape of Trudeau’s Dudley-Do Wrong horsey cops trampling that elderly Canadian patriot, your first thought was:
A — That old hag reminds me of all senior, American “traitors” who “invaded” the Capitol on J6 for selfies and deserves to be drenched in maple syrup, beaten with hockey sticks, and forced into a Trudeau-approved re-education camp.
B — Trudeau needs a blanket party.
2) When you watch a CNN news report you think to yourself:
A — Now I know what to believe. Thank you Comrade Don Lemon for educating me.
B — Downey, why would I watch CNN? This question is dumb.
3) When Fauci’s feds come to take your kids to a CDC “shielding” camp because a child at school tested positive for the Bat-Soup Flu, you will say:
A — “Take them for as long as you like. Whatever is good for the collective is fine with me.”
B — “You ladies are about to meet my other kids, Smith and Wesson.”
4) Unquestioningly complying with two years of quarantines, social distancing, masks, and vaccines mandates makes one:
A — A fine, upstanding citizen who cares about elderly people.
B — Eligible to apply as a muppet on Sesame Street.
Related: Wake Up Patriots: The Commies Are Winning
5) Your idea of a Nazi is:
A — That Vietnam vet neighbor with a Trump flag in his yard.
B — The guys your granddad introduced to the business end of his M-1 Garand in the ’40s.
6) You believe Antifa:
A — Is a myth.
B — Should be hunted in season like every other animal!
7) If you were a professional football player, and the National Anthem was being sung, you would prefer to:
A — Take a knee.
B — Take an American-made Louisville slugger to the knees of those taking a knee.
8) A bearded, 6’4″ man in a dress is about walk into the lady’s room. Your 88-year-old conservative grandmother is in there. You think to yourself:
A — “What do I care? That’s a real woman.”
B — “Granny built B-24s during the war. She’s about to take her toolbox and give that lucky dude a free gender-reassignment surgery.”
9) You believe mask mandates are:
A — A great idea.
B — A great idea for Stacey Abrams.
SCORECARD
Give yourself one point for every time your answer was A. If your score is:
1-2 You have a chance. Stop watching MSNBC NOW and we will consider allowing you to remain an American when the revolution is over.
3-9 欢迎上船，同志们。我希望你喜欢吃老鼠，因为牛排只适合你心爱的领导者 (Welcome aboard, comrades. I hope you enjoy eating rats because steaks are only for your beloved leader.)
FACT-O-RAMA! I don’t speak commie. Thank you Google Translate.
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