Jesse Kelly Challenged Writers to See How COVID Regulations Affect Americans, and Here's My Research

Ross D. Franklin

Jesse Kelly, the Oracle himself, tweeted an idea for an article to his legions on Monday.

Here’s an idea for a writer: Go find a few people from red areas and do a write up on how they’ve lived their lives for the last two years. Then do the same with a few people from blue areas. Do a compare and contrast piece. Would be fascinating.


As a fan and a writer, I scooped up his idea. I was considering writing a similar article about the differences in COVID protocols I witnessed driving from Long Island to Michigan and back, but when the Oracle speaks, people listen. After all, he had JUST read a question on air that I sent him regarding who has better Mexican food — Arizona or Texas — and why. A debate began between PJ Media’s own Stephen Kruiser and me as we were guzzling beer on our recent “Unwoke” Comedy Tour through Michigan.
Who Is Jesse Kelly?

After Rush Limbaugh died, conservative talk radio was gutted. There was a huge gap, which many of us hoped would be filled by Mark Steyn, Rush’s usual stand-in. Sadly, that didn’t work out. Then out of nowhere, a tall shadow emerged.

If you don’t get Jesse Kelly’s 6-9 p.m. weekday show in your town, find it online. He is hilarious, and might I say a handsome devil as well (fans of the show will understand why I said that). He is also a frequent troublemaker on The Tucker Carlson Show, and yes, his cheeseburgers are the best.

Anyhoo, I took Jesse’s suggestion and ran with it. Here is what I learned interviewing people from around the nation about the Chinese Sneeze restrictions people dealt with and are starting to deal with again as omicron rears its weak little COVID head.

Long Island and NYC


Long Island borders the New York City boroughs of Queens and Brooklyn. As the saying goes, when NYC sneezes, Long Island catches a cold.

When it comes to COVID protocols, New York City is Moscow on the Hudson. The Big Apple became a ghost town when the Wu-Flu hit the nation. Almost everything shut down. Many businesses remained shut down even after Gov. Andrew “Gropey” Cuomo learned that 66% of all COVID-positive New Yorkers were shut-ins.

When Lord Cuomo DID allow bars to re-open, he sent his State Liquor Authority (SLA) thugs to make sure people were sitting in bars, not standing, wearing masks to walk to the bathroom, and eating food. As we all know, COVID dines on dipsomaniacs (like me) as we are walking to the restroom.

FACT-O-RAMA! Cuomo mandated that bar patrons must eat food in a bar. Bars started serving “Cuomo chips,” which were just plates of mostly stale potato chips. The legislature voted unanimously to end this nonsense in April of 2021, due to the lack of science behind it.

“The purchase of food with alcohol is arbitrary and not based on science,” state Sen. John Mannion declared during a debate. “I’ve yet to find any scientific literature that finds a correlation between ordering food with your drink, and stopping the spread of COVID-19.”

Today, you need a vaccine pass in NYC to see a movie, go into a diner for a coffee, watch a comedy show, or exercise at the gym (even though since COVID chews up obese people, you’d think the gyms would remain open 24/7). Companies are having people work from home again over the mostly peaceful omicron variant.

FACT-O-RAMA! New York’s Gov. Kathy Hochul fired unvaccinated healthcare workers several months ago, just before omicron kicked in.


State-wide mandates were set by Hochul, but she pulled back a bit after some counties decided not to enforce them. Despite all that tyranny, New York is breaking Wu-bat Flu case records almost every day now. Although here is a secret: almost no one is dying from it. But that doesn’t keep the Don Lemons of the world from ringing the panic bell, nor does it keep the libs from virtue signaling how much they are doing to “lower the curve” even though, as history has shown, the curve will do what it likes, based not on masks, lockdowns, and shots, but the weather.

Related: N.Y. Gov. Hochul Now Bribing Counties to Enforce Her Mask Mandate

One Long Island company just made their unvaxxed employees work from home. Nine days later, four of their employees, vaxxed AND boosted, were COVID positive.

Check out this tragic, virtue-signaling milksop. Nothing says “Biden supporter” like mollycoddle struggling to fight off a COVID variant that kills almost no one. Here’s her Twitter bio:

Using data to track equity on TV | Advocate for representation in media , under the law , & at the ballot box (she/her) | Not a medical doctor.

This poor lamb “isn’t f*****g around” with a variant that has killed less than ten people across the world.


Michigan was one of the first states to mandate a serious lockdown, though abortions and lottery tickets were always available. Michigan’s governor Gretchen Whitmer fined a barber who wouldn’t close his shop and tried to have him arrested. The local sheriff refused, and the state’s Supreme Court sided with the barber. Whitmer had a restaurant owner, who fled communist Poland as a teenager, arrested for not closing her doors. Whitmer then went on to break a lot of her own mandates.


My aunt died in April of 2020. A Michigan hospital wouldn’t allow her to have visitors until they were sure she was dying. The state kindly allowed a one-hour funeral with no more than ten people at one time.

Michigan’s lockdown didn’t end until June of 2021.

FACT-O-RAMA! Social distancing mandates were based on outdated information. Those stickers on the grocery store floor we stood upon didn’t save one life.

Stephen Kruiser and I toured Michigan this month on our “Unwoke” Comedy Tour. Every small town we visited had no Chinese Sneeze protocols in place. Ann Arbor, however, is still a commie Nirvana. An Ann Arbor restaurant (in the corner of a strip mall parking lot, not downtown where it’s even worse) had a sign on their door telling people they need a mask to walk from the door to a table. Kruiser and I decided instead to eat in Lakeside, where America still exists and pinkos are wildly outnumbered.


Ohio didn’t go full commie over the past two years the way Michigan did. They are done with COVID now. Over the span of my recent nine-day drive, I spent two nights in Hubbard. There is a cheap hotel about 12 feet from a trucker bar where I’ve killed time on my off nights. Nary a mask to be found. Masks are considered a joke by the truckers I drank and spoke with.

Pro tip: when drinking with truckers, wear a Trump shirt. This guarantees free shots from truckers and inside tips on speed traps.


Related: BAD NEWS: Working From Home Won’t Save You From Biden’s Vaccine Mandate


Chris from the purple region of metro Atlanta where Newton County and Walton County meet told me that it’s the local authorities in his region that occasionally try to impose mask mandates, but Georgians promptly ignore them. Chris and the rest of his state are largely done with COVID mandates, with the exception of urban areas. He added that the weirdest moment in the COVID nonsense was when he had to wear a mask indoors at Florida’s Disney World.

New Jersey

New Jersey locked down like the true commie state it is. Small businesses suffered. People watched their loved ones die on a tablet because they couldn’t get in to say goodbye.

Things are different now. I stop at a hot dog restaurant and a nearby gas station on I-80 every time I drive through Jersey. Neither business demanded masks, though one required them for the non-vaccinated (although no one was checking).


With very few exceptions, no one cares about masks, vaccinations, or anything pinko-related now. When the “pandemic” hit, Pennsylvania locked down in true pinko style. Even worse, they closed their state-run liquor stores. Only beer and some wines were available for months, as though COVID feasts on people drinking Cosmos but not IPA-sucking hipsters.


My friend Paul went from Pennsylvania to Florida in July of 2020. He stayed there. He said the differences were amazing. He wasn’t forced to wear a Fauci face diaper in Florida like he had to do in Pennsylvania, and restaurants were open. Elderly nursing home patients weren’t fed to the COVID woodchipper, and Florida never banned liquor. He claims life was barely altered in Florida.



Here are a few answers to Jesse Kelly’s tweet from fans of the menu-meister.

A rodeo bull rider from New Mexico once told me that STDs are rampant in this state. I didn’t know that communism is too:

From Louisiana:


Based on the information I’ve gathered and the people with whom I’m spoken, a person’s response to the Bat Flu almost always comes down to politics. I spoke with a few people who, due to their weight, age, or health, are all in line with COVID protocols. Otherwise, it’s pure politics. Bigger city dwellers are happy to play the Fauci game. Libs will obey like sheep. It’s part of their psyche. Libs need to feel better than other people. They feel it gives them an academic edge over conservatives.


Libs look down on us in order to have a sense of supremacy. To a lib, we are religious, trigger-squeezin’ hicks. They need to blame someone for COVID, and they can’t imagine holding Fauci responsible for his history of bad calls and about-faces. Only a rube would “doubt the Fauc,” even though the “science” tells us masks are a joke, mandates are unconstitutional, and COVID doesn’t care if you’re vaxxed. A fully vaxxed and boosted person can catch it and spread it just as well as the filthy unvaxxed.


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