For $75 an Hour You Can Cuddle with a Cow

All this time, I thought the biggest con that farmers have perpetuated on Americans has been convincing people to pay money to pick their own apples. Nope. Not even close. A farm in Upstate New York is charging customers $75 an hour to cuddle with the cows. And people are actually doing it!

ABC News reports, “The practice is fairly common in the Netherlands but far less so in the U.S.” Well, just because another country is doing it doesn’t mean it should be practiced here. Trust me, having grown up next to a cow field, nothing about hugging a cow should be appealing to people. That being said, I don’t begrudge Mountain Horse Farm the ability to separate the gullible from their money. And, no doubt, the gullible in this instance are rich leftists participating in the capitalist system they claim to despise.

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Our guests enjoying some time with Bella and Bonnie ❤️ #cow #cows#cowcuddling #cowcuddles #mountainhorsefarm #naplesny #farmstay

A post shared by Mountain Horse Farm (@mountainhorsefarm) on Jun 28, 2019 at 10:16am PDT

Located in the picturesque Fingers Lake area of New York, Mountain Horse Farm bills itself as a wellness retreat and a working farm. Besides cuddling with cows, they also offer an experience with horses too. Explaining on their website that they can’t guarantee a cow will cuddle with you  because it’s “their choice” to do so or not, Mountain Horse Farm adds:

If you book a session with the horses & cows it will be about finding a connection, getting close to the natural world, finding peace & quietness. We are not a petting zoo. We will tell you about their personalities, about their likes & dislikes, funny things they like to do. Horses & cows are sentient beings, they are individuals just like you and it’s wonderful to get to know them. We will be there with you in the field, holding the space, creating a safe environment for you and them.

We only offer 1 or 2 sessions a day during 3 or 4 days a week. Sessions are private. Only the people in your party will be in the session. The maximum number of people per session is 4. Guests that stay with us have first choice in booking sessions. We like to plan them, so it flows with the natural rhythm of the animals. We also like to look at the weather, especially on rainy or hot days. When you stay with us, it’s easier to find the best time for your session.

Maybe they can’t stop smiling because they realized that they’ve been conned out of 75 bucks and are trying to laugh away the tears.