Ed Driscoll

'If You Have Visit Mosul Dam on Your Bucket List, Better do it Soon'

“ISIS, the modern day heirs to The Mongol Horde, have either captured this dam, or are perilously close to capturing it depending on who you believe. Based on their prior performance, I seriously doubt their first point of order upon reaching the dam will be to Seamlessly Transition Into the Dam Failure Prevention Business,” one of Ace of Spades’ co-bloggers writes:

3. The Peshmerga, who are The One Eyed Man in The Country of the Blind militarily speaking, are currently providing protection for this dam. This would be the same Peshmerga who had to withdraw from engagements with ISIS earlier this week due to shortages of ammunition. So, while these troops are tougher than a $2 ribeye, they might not be able to defend this structure if they’re down to fighting with harsh language, sharpened garden tools, and weaponized unicorn farts.

4. ISIS has a track record of destroying anything in their path that is not strictly adherent to The Koran. Since (as far as I know), the Koran has no commentary on “magical portland cement concrete and compacted clay that prevent water from seeping through soil rapidly”, my guess is that The Mosul Dam and its reservoir are considered to be Satan’s In-Ground Swimming Pool by these sub-geniuses. And even if they were so inclined to preserve this structure, the process of injecting bentonite into the soils beneath this structure might be “a bridge too far” for their technical competence. Did Allah have any commentary regarding pumps? I do not know. But I have my suspicions.

To be fair, perhaps the would-be dam busters of ISIS simply want to appear in an American Express commercial of their own, as the similarities between America’s and the Middle East’s “Socialist Critics of Capitalism” continue to follow remarkably similar tracks. Right, Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA) and Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA)?

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In 2010, Deanna Archuleta, then Obama’s Deputy Assistant Secretary of the Interior, was quoted as promising the religious environmental left hat “You will never see another federal dam” in America. No doubt ISIS is taking that motto to heart in Iraq as well.