Ed Driscoll

Latest Pirates Sequel Flunks the Siskel Test

Dubbing it “Yawny Depp,” Kyle Smith of the New York Post watches Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
so you don’t have to:

Fleeing like a Looney Tunes Errol Flynn, Capt. Jack runs into his father (Keith Richards), who offers more exposition: You need two silver chalices to drink from the Fountain of Youth. Richards is as wasted here as he was in about 1975: You’ve got two of the most charismatic entertainers of the last 50 years and all that happens is a little back-story delivery? Watching these two performers have a sandwich together would be vastly more entertaining than the movie.

The late Gene Siskel famously wrote that he had simple test for the movies he reviewed: “Is this film more interesting than a documentary of the same actors having lunch?” In the 1980s, the Keith and Depp would have promoted their movie by hanging out for 90 minutes on Friday Night Videos — which sounds like it would have been much more fun to watch than this film.

Of course, they would have cut away to Keith’s latest video with the Stones, and some killer U2 and INXS videos, which would have helped as well.