'Global Cooling is what we must expect because of Global Warming'

When you start sounding like a cross between the Orwellian “you can’t fight here, this is the war room” line in Dr. Strangelove and the “We had to destroy the village in order to save it” Vietnam-era malapropism very likely invented by Peter Arnett, you may want to re-think your approach towards arguing the issues.

As Christopher Monckton writes in the Telegraph, “The climate bugaboo is the strangest intellectual aberration of our age:”

“But don’t you realise,” said the bearded, staring enviro-zomb with the regrettable T-shirt, “that global cooling is what we must expect because of global warming?”

“Don’t you realise,” I replied, “how silly that sounds? The lowest temperatures ever recorded here in Cancun six days in a row; four extreme winters on the trot in the Northern hemisphere; more people dying in one three-day cold snap in little England in 2002 than Oxfam pretends died of ‘global warming’ worldwide throughout 2010; where’s your perspective, man?”

Greg Gutfeld defines the soiree in Cancun as only he can:

So, it was like a sequel to a Rob Schneider movie, and not even Rob Schneider bothered to return.

I speak of the U.N Framework Convention on Climate Change that annoyed Cancun, Mexico earlier this month. Mind you, over ten thousand people have been murdered over drugs in that country this year -so this confab seemed about as relevant as a pimple on a griffen’s butt.

It was only a year ago that the Copenhagen Summit was kind of a big deal, but that faded faster than my Ed Hardy denim underwear. So it’s no surprise that the experts here have turned to the gods for help. Christian Figuera, the executive secretary, desperately invoked the ancient jaguar goddess Ixchel – for she’s not only goddess of the moon, but also “reason, creativity and weaving.”

Yes, weaving. Because, “you are gathered in Cancun to weave together the elements of a solid response to climate change…

Well, Steven Crowder certainly provides one. After escaping the wintry purgatory of Detroit late last year, and the Hieronymus Bosch-like atmosphere of Jon Stewart’s pre-shellacking rally in DC in late October, Crowder was certainly owed a vacation in a tropical climate.

Fortunately, he timed this one remarkably well:

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