You Want To Go Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Yes, it’s the obligatory post on Greg Gutfeld’s modest proposal:

I’m announcing tonight, that I am planning to build and open the first gay bar that caters not only to the west, but also Islamic gay men. To best express my sincere desire for dialogue, the bar will be situated next to the mosque Park51, in an available commercial space.

This is not a joke. I’ve already spoken to a number of investors, who have pledged their support in this bipartisan bid for understanding and tolerance.

As you know, the Muslim faith doesn’t look kindly upon homosexuality, which is why I’m building this bar. It is an effort to break down barriers and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.

The goal, however, is not simply to open a typical gay bar, but one friendly to men of Islamic faith. An entire floor, for example, will feature non-alcoholic drinks, since booze is forbidden by the faith. The bar will be open all day and night, to accommodate men who would rather keep their sexuality under wraps – but still want to dance.

Bottom line: I hope that the mosque owners will be as open to the bar, as I am to the new mosque. After all, the belief driving them to open up their center near Ground Zero, is no different than mine.

My place, however, will have better music.

For investment information, contact me at

And remember, kids, I’m dead serious on this one. (You can tell by the lack of humor in this particular piece).



Well, that name has already been taken. But if you search on the #GutfeldGayBarNames hashtag on Twitter, they’re having lots of fun with suggested names for Manhattan’s newest saloon. Some of the better riffs so far include:

  • La Hajj Aux Folles
  • Big Gay Al-Qaeda
  • Behind The Jihad Door
  • Taqiyya Sunrise
  • Taqiyya & Tequila
  • The Allah-mentary Canal
  • Turban Cowboy
  • The Ba’ath House
  • Flaming Mo’s

Meanwhile, as Allahpundit wryly notes:

If we’re going to celebrate tolerance regardless of the sensitivities of the surrounding area, let’s celebrate! And the best part? Because, as we’ve been assured many times, the “Park51″ cultural center will be a model of moderation, gay Muslim men don’t have to worry about being seen entering Gut’s establishment. Flaunt it all you want, fellas; you’re in Moderate Town, U.S.A., on that block. I look forward to the congratulatory Mike Bloomberg press conference.



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