Who Wants To Kneecap A Millionare?

Thanks to satiric Scrappleface satirist Scott Ott, Sheila-Jackson Lee’s cell phone seizure suddenly makes sense:

Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee, D-TX, who appears in a viral video making a cellphone call at a town hall meeting while a cancer survivor was trying to ask her a question, today explained that she was not being rude to the voters in the room.

“I didn’t know the answer to the question,” said the lawmaker, “So I decided to use one of my lifelines to ask an expert who had actually read the health care reform bill. As everyone knows, I’m entitled to two lifelines and I only had to use one.”

Asked about reports that the House member had used ‘her lifeline’ to phone a K Street lobbying firm, Rep. Jackson-Lee said, “If you want to hear from someone who read the bill, why not talk to one of the people who wrote it.”

And speaking of health care “reform”, Caleb Howe and Naked Emperor News debate if Nancy Pelosi’s schizophrenia — or perhaps simply a sudden case of memory loss after November of 2008 — is covered under Congress’s medical benefits.