The Finest Kind...Of Nutty Conspiracy Theories

Donald Sutherland is yet another superstar actor to whom Bill Whittle’s Lou Grant Effect remains inviolable. As an actor, Sutherland nearly always invests his characters with charisma and charm; from the original Hawkeye Pierce in Robert Altman’s M*A*S*H to the small town cop investigating crimes in the big bad city in Klute, to his wealthy proto-bobo Manhattan art collector in Six Degrees of Separation. But without a script and a director, this is the result:

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As far as conspiracy theories go, the one actor Donald Sutherland posited at the Huffington Post Monday certainly doesn’t rank very high.

After all, there’s a long line of political pundits predicting the Clintons are conspiring to steal the Democrat presidential nomination from Barack Obama.

But, coming from Kiefer’s dad, and the original “Hawkeye” Pierce from “M*A*S*H,” the entertainment value is, well, delicious.

Get out the popcorn, folks…you won’t be disappointed (emphasis added, h/t NBer Gary Hall):

The DNC’s ‘Terry McAuliffe mind-set’ ruined the campaigns of Gore, Kerry and Senator Clinton and now the legions of McAuliffites who have surrounded Barack Obama are doing their damndest to undermine the possibility of his Presidency…There’s a well sourced rumor of Machiavellian proportions running around that what’s going to happen is that his base support will be so demoralized they won’t have the vital conviction they’ll need this August to withstand a McAuliffite push to persuade disenchanted delegates on the floor of the convention to make a resurgent Hillary Clinton the Party’s nominee!…His heart and soul is being gutted and ours with it… This morning’s news in the Washington Post is that he’s revised his positions on abortion and troop withdrawal! His supporters are being sent to hell in a handbasket and it has to be stopped!

Suddenly, Sutherland sounds more like Frank Burns than Hawkeye!

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Meanwhile, the otherwise regal Lauren Bacall also has a painful case of Hollywood, Interrupted:

Q: You told Larry King,

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