Ed Driscoll

A Fish Called Cindy

As usual, life imitates The Simpsons. In an episode titled, “A Fish Called Selma”, washed up actor turned infomercial spiv Troy McClure once admitted that he wasn’t quite like you or I:

“Gay? I wish! If I were gay they’d be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost.”

Maybe not for long–it’s an affliction that seems to be catching:

An unusual wedding ceremony was held in the southern resort town of Eilat on Wednesday, as Sharon Tendler, a 41-years-old Jewish millionaire from London married her beloved Cindy, a 35-years-old dolphin, Israel’s leading newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported Thursday.

The groom, a resident of the Eilat dolphin reef, met Tendler 15 years ago, when she first visited the resort. The British rock concert producer took a liking to the dolphin and has made a habit of traveling to Eilat two or three times a year and spending time with her underwater sweetheart.

“The peace and tranquility underwater, and his love, would calm me down,” the excited bride said after the wedding.

After a years-long romance, Tendler decided to embark on the highly unusual path of tying the knot with her beloved dolphin. Last week, she approached Cindy’s trainer Maya Zilber with the extraordinary request.

Zilber accepted the challenge and “talked the idea over with the fellow,” who apparently consented.

‘I’m not a pervert’

And so on Wednesday afternoon, the thrilled bride, wearing a white dress, walked down the dock before hundreds of astounded visitors and kneeled down before her groom, who was waiting in the water.

Cindy, escorted by his fellow best-men dolphins, swam over to Tendler and she hugged him, whispered sweet nothings in his ear, and kissed him in front of the cheering crowd.

After the ceremony was sealed with some mackerels, Tendler was tossed into the water by her friends so that she could swim with her new husband.

“I’m the happiest girl on earth,” the bride said as she chocked back tears of emotion. “I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert,” she stressed.

Say, were Aquaman and Sub-Mariner invited to the wedding?

Theodore Dalrymple, call your office. Your next article just wrote itself!

(Via the Brothers Judd.)

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