Ed Driscoll


THE NFL DRAFT IS ON: Serious draftnicks will be glued to the wall-to-wall coverage on ESPN, but I’m content to see who’s picking up who via the ‘Net. As Larry Beil of Yahoo Sports writes:

We are now “on the clock” for the most-hyped, NON-event in sports history.

It is officially known as the 69th Annual National Football League Player Selection Meeting, but you know it best as THE DRAFT. No pass will be thrown (unless Suzy Kolber runs into Joe Namath again), no tackle will be made, no touchdown will be scored, but somehow, someway, THE DRAFT will be one of the most watched NON-events on ESPN this year.

Somewhere in this great land of ours are men who willingly sit through every second of this weekend’s 17 televised hours of draft coverage. These guys are either single, soon-to-be single or incarcerated, and they eat up the draft like Gilbert Brown attacks hot dogs.

The draft is the ultimate reality show, a strangely compelling marathon of mini-dramas. Like “Survivor” in pads. Fortunes rise, fortunes fall, fortunes vanish and it happens at the speed of a root canal. My question is simple: “Why does anybody watch it?”

It’s like a never-ending episode of “Battlestar Galactica” with Chris Berman starring as Lorne Green.

I dunno–I think Berman would be a lot more fun than Greene was. Lt. “Double Latte With Foam” Starbuck to your Viper!