Time to Re-Define the F-Word

This past week a group of scientists from the European Space Agency landed a spaceship on a comet. Contemporary feminists commented on the happening, but not for the reason you’d think. Screw science. One of the guys on the team talked about the major breakthrough in an on-the-spot interview while wearing a shirt with barely-clad, busty women brandishing guns. Social media chaos ensued. The scientist cried out an apology over the Internet. Apparently the rather clever hashtag #shirtstorm is the real reason why Obama cancelled the space program.

And you wonder why Lana Del Rey would rather spend her time talking about Space-X and Tesla instead of associating herself with the pioneering movement for women that has turned into a forum for Dunham-loving yuppie nags. Celebrities are distancing themselves from the f-word because so-called feminists think the greatest thing they can do for womankind is to complain about a scientist’s tacky shirt. I’m sure that really inspired a teenage girl out there to forego joining ISIS and join in the fight against… dudes bearing busty broads?

Because we all know that said feminists completely support Kim Kardashian’s racist butt-shot on the “I never heard of that magazine and it’ll probably fold in three months” rag Paper. The feminist-bots who apparently don’t believe the world existed before Instagram raved at what was nothing more than an old trick by one very pervy man:

First off, those of you declaring that these pictures are “history-making” need to chill out. There is nothing new or even original about this spread. Renowned French photographer Jean-Paul Goude just dug into his archives, pulled out some of his old favorites and recreated them with reality TV’s reigning It Girl.

Goude’s original shot was from a book titled Jungle Fever which featured several questionable shots of his then-girlfriend Grace Jones:

Back in 1982 (before shows like Law & Order: SVU taught folks how to identify the subtleties of abuse), when this book came out, many were dazzled by his pictures of Grace Jones and, since she and Goude were lovers, assumed that when he took shots of her in a cage, on all fours bearing her teeth like a caged animal – it was ok.

The pictures were reminiscent of colonial-era fascination with the black female figure. You know, something feminists should bother to care about for reasons of, oh, racism, sexism, and general perversion for starters:

Sarah “Saartjie” Baartman (before 1790 – 29 December 1815 (also spelled Bartman, Bartmann, Baartmen) was the most famous of at least two Khoikhoi women who were exhibited as freak show attractions in 19th-century Europe under the name Hottentot Venus—”Hottentot” as the then-current name for the Khoi people, now considered an offensive term, and “Venus” in reference to the Roman goddess of love.

Why was Saartjie a “freak”? Why, her extremely large buttocks, of course, which were put on display for money, not unlike the current cheeks in question. Oh, but Kardashian willingly chose to expose. So, even though she looks like an infantilized, high class, greased-up, Photoshopped whore stepping out of a trash bag, she’s a champion of feminism. The doctor who acted as a member of a team of male and female scientists who accomplished a major goal in the study of space exploration is, however, a total misogynist for getting caught on camera wearing cartoon images of women who, busty as they may have been, still managed to look classier than Kim “my sex tape made me famous” Kardashian.

Blue Telumsa noted, “…Kim probably has no clue about the cultural and historic significance of what she’s done.” Neither do contemporary feminists. That’s why Time magazine gave voters the option of banning the word “feminism.” Not because the movement hasn’t made great accomplishments for women’s rights over the past 300 years, but because a few million idiots with social media accounts define their feminism with the catchphrase “ignorance is bliss.” Which it apparently is, since Time got harangued into apologizing for including “feminism” in their poll:

TIME apologizes for the execution of this poll; the word ‘feminist’ should not have been included in a list of words to ban. While we meant to invite debate about some ways the word was used this year, that nuance was lost, and we regret that its inclusion has become a distraction from the important debate over equality and justice.

But they didn’t just apologize. They closed the poll. A picture remains of what was (for historical purposes?), but no ability to vote is actually granted. In other words, the contemporary F’s f’ed up a Time tradition. Now, if the poll had been published on Kim Kardashian’s behind, maybe it would have been given a pass. They don’t call Feminism the f-word for nothing.