Culture

5 Ways the GOP Screws Up

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Check out the previous installments in Susan L.M. Goldberg’s Ann Coulter series:

October 14: Queen Ann Advises Republicans: Always Listen to Mother

October 26: My 5 Favorite Ann Coulter Columns

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The thesis of Ann Coulter’s latest book, Never Trust a Liberal Over 3 – Especially a Republican is simple: Republicans do a great disservice to themselves every time they try to play along with liberals. Given the latest infighting between the Tea Party and the French Republicans (as Mark Levin calls them) Coulter’s book couldn’t have been published at a more opportune moment. Thanks to Ann, we now have a study guide for getting it right in 2014.

But, to overcome a problem, you must first acknowledge it. So here are the five major ways Republicans are screwing over the Right. The fix is simple: Stop accepting, rewarding, and emulating this behavior if you want to get liberals out of office.

5. Expecting Politicians to be Gods.

A few critics of Ann’s seem to be blown away by the fact that, at one point, she backed the Chris Christie. How could Ann back a RINO? Poser! Fraud!

And you’ve never made a wrong decision in your life, let alone changed your mind.

As Ann wrote, “No elected Republican will do everything you want.” Neither politicians nor pundits are gods; if we thought they were, we’d be lefty socialists. So, let’s give up the notion that every politician on our side needs to back our individual political philosophy with every vote they make and start approaching politics for what it is: a team sport where a serious level of rationality is required to cultivate and follow a winning strategy. Instead of devolving into implosion mode at the instigation of the bloodthirsty MSM, reconvene with the goal of winning. It really is that simple.

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4. Going Theological on Any Issue — For Example, Gay Marriage

Contrary to popular stereotype, us folks on the right have a variety of personal views on gay marriage. What we do agree on is the fact that we are a nation of laws empowered by citizens, not courts. That belief is what distinguishes us from the leftists who seek to create a socialist state through activists judges. Why, then, do we insist on theologically bashing our way through the gay marriage conversation when the Constitution is on our side?

Mark Levin succinctly explains why the Supreme Court, along with federal and state courts, should stay the hell out of decision-making when it comes to popular votes: it isn’t within their Constitutional purview to overturn the will of the people. Instead of rebutting those who argue that the Constitution is an amorphous idea that will bend to their will with the simple truth that they are empowering a court to render their individual vote effectively useless, we get caught up in arguments over whether or not God approves of homosexuality. We then get stereotyped as a bunch of Bible-thumpers who have no clue how government works – by a bunch of ideological terrorists intent on destroying the very government they claim to uphold.

It’s time for us to recognize the Soviet-style infighting we’re being duped into pursuing and go to law school, preferably one populated with professors like Coulter and Levin. Faith is wonderful and necessary, but we cannot get lost in theological battles when the legal answers are right at our fingertips.

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3. Turning Our Back on Our Own

Republican politicians are lame. Seriously, our most interesting folks are our pundits, because they don’t have campaign pollsters repeatedly barking but they’ll hate you in their ears. In a column on the much maligned Lewis Libby, Ann Coulter observed, “If you won’t defend your own champions, conservatives, then don’t sit back and wonder why so few people want to be your champions.” Liberals malign Ted Cruz’s Mr. Smith-esque attempt to defund the already defunct Obamacare and Republicans jump on board, looking for an easy target to blame. There’s those pollsters again: But they hate you.

Who is “they” anyway? The reality is that the average voter has no clue why the shutdown happened; they’re relying on the MSM to give them the summary, and when the Republicans use their 15 minutes of fame to defame each other they sound like whiny schoolyard babies arguing over who hit who first. What was that about Obamacare being un-Constitutional, fraudulent legislation again? Oh, forget it, Peter King is raking on Ted Cruz again; they’re so Kardashian!

Take the latest example, Congressman Sean Duffy from Wisconsin. The right-wing blogosphere praised the Republican for “standing up to the liberal media” while being interviewed by Mika Brzezinski on MSNBC. The right wing blogosphere’s definition of “standing up” consists of admitting failure in the form of a slow, drawn out compromise and hanging your fellow Republicans out to dry while you’re at it. I’m not sure what’s worse: The Congressman who thinks he’s big man on campus, or the doofus bloggers who are snorting chuckles behind their computer screens.

Facts, facts, facts. Republicans should be out there announcing their facts through a PR agent that makes them sound like the most brilliant thing since sliced bread. Take Ann Coulter’s response to the ending of the shutdown:

This is why the duly elected Republican majority in the House keeps funding the entire federal government — except Obamacare. Or except Congress’ exemption from Obamacare. Or except the individual mandate that Obama has already waived for his big-business friends.

“Settled law” has nothing to do with it. When Republicans won’t give up on an issue, it is because they are defending the will of the people, not pushing some harebrained scheme cooked up by a small group of zealots and imposed on the nation by an activist judge or freak Congress.

The Republicans are defending your individual rights. Boom! Who wouldn’t go for a slice of that?

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2. Maligning Republican Women

You’d think being stereotyped as the party that wages a War on Women would inspire Republicans to raise up any and every female leader in their ranks with complete and utter support. Instead, they place their establishment burden square on the shoulders of the most important self-made woman in the Republican spotlight since Phyllis Schlafly: Sarah Palin.

The McCain campaign was doomed to failure from the start, but not because of Palin. McCain, an elite Republican known for endless concessions to liberal ideology including global warming and amnesty, was following the second term of George W. “turn my back on the Gaza Strip and watch my administration crumble” Bush. Insert the beauteous Sarah to shoulder the burden of the GOP Elite, let the liberal media have at her just for the heck of it, and throw in one insane stalker for good measure. Then, when she decides to resign from her role as Governor of Alaska because she couldn’t work and meet the demands of all those FOIA requests, declare her old news. Or, as Republican media consultant Todd Harris quipped, “I think Sarah Palin is on the verge of becoming the Miami Vice of American politics: Something a lot of people once thought was cool and then 20 years later look back, shake their heads and just kind of laugh.”

Michele Bachmann hasn’t been treated any better. “I see many in the Right side blogosphere who are against Bachmann, and when asked why, they give a tepid response about her being ‘extremist,’ and some pap about her not being bright, not ready, yada yada yada, the same attacks they make against Palin, yet, they cannot say what positions, what policies, of Bachmann’s they are against,” observed William Teach.

Liberals relentlessly attack conservative females in vulgar, sexist terms. Republicans respond by echoing the attacks or, even worse, not responding at all, proving that if you can’t say anything nice, you’re either a liberal or a wuss.f8b55140c3778d75a167edd9db2c486c1309718330

1. Playing Along With Liberal Lunatic Logic

The Right’s greatest mistake: Caving in to the “Two Legs Good, Four Legs Better” twisted reality of the Left.

Ann Coulter is right: Republicans reward themselves for acting like gentlemen, thinking they’ve won the day by taking the moral high ground, when in reality they’ve come off about as pathetic as Kevin Bacon begging for another paddling in Animal House.

Stop rewarding liberals by allowing them to think they’re right all the time. Politics may be a popularity contest, but pundits like Glenn Beck shouldn’t have to tell the American public about Cloward and Piven, nor would they have to if you’d stop giving into lunatic liberal logic in favor of a seat at the cool table in the Capitol cafeteria.