Culture

'Smart Mattress' Will Help Bust Cheating Spouses

Hidden cameras are probably cheaper.

If you suspect that your significant other is bringing others into your bedroom, you could have an adult conversation about it or seek couple’s counseling. Alternatively, you can buy a $1,700 smart mattress called the Smarttress that will tell you when your partner is having sex with someone that isn’t you.

Smarttress is the invention of Durmet, a Spanish mattress company that was inspired by the fact that Madrid has the highest number of cheating spouses in Europe. It features 24 sensors within the springs, which the company calls the “Lover Detection System.”

These sensors know which areas of the mattress are receiving pressure and make a 3D map of the bed. These maps are shared via a smartphone app to tell you about impacts per minute, frequency, time of use, duration, speed and other data. It will send the alert when it detects what it considers suspicious movement.

“You can’t imagine the tests we have done to make sure the system works correctly,” Durmet said in a press release.

On the one hand, if your cheating spouse is dumb and cruel enough to be unfaithful in the bed you share, he or she deserves all the misery in the world.

On the other, maybe just hide in a closet, take some pics with your phone, and use the $1700 for a good divorce lawyer.

At some point we may have to decide just how much information we want on all of our loved ones. There were a variety of ways I could have surveilled my child since she’s been in high school, but I wanted to let her know that I trusted her. Her mother (my ex-wife) took a more Big Brother approach. I’m not exactly sure which of us has been more stress free the last four years, but the kid has turned out pretty well without me being an NSA-level parent.

If we reach the point where we booby trap our lives on the off chance those we trust will prove unworthy of it, will that lead to better behavior or rockier foundations in relationships?

Now if they develop a “smart” mattress that massages me when I need it and sends the robot butler off to fetch a cocktail for me I probably won’t care what anybody is doing when I’m not on it.