From the first moment I saw young attorney James Egan, who is on Gwyneth Paltrow’s legal team, I knew he was special. I told my YouTube and Rumble audience that I wanted to ruffle his hair, do his laundry, and bring him a casserole. It’s the mom in me. I can’t help it. He’s so young and yet so confident in the courtroom that I just felt proud to watch him. Getting up in front of a judge is hard enough for attorneys, but Egan was also in front of the world in this high-profile ski crash trial involving a celebrity. Yet, with the world staring at him, he was composed, calm, and smooth — even though we could all tell he was wearing a retainer or braces (which made him more adorable). My good friend Dani Ahn Direct on YouTube (also a practicing lawyer in Utah) confirmed Egan wears braces. She has been sitting in the courtroom, giving us the inside scoop on all the in-court activities.
I love weird court cases. You all know that. There is no weirder case right now than the Paltrow vs. Sanderson drama. My audience and I have spent close to seven hours a day on this trial. We have nicknames for everyone from the Coughing Menace (the plaintiff’s main counsel who can’t seem to afford cough drops) to Wednesday Adams (the defense counsel’s junior lawyer who looks exactly like Wednesday Adams all grown up).
But James Egan has been a crowd favorite. My audience is split on whether he is Clark Kent or Peter Parker. Today, someone started a rumor that he’s actually Dare Devil’s alter-ego Matt Murdock, the blind lawyer. But everyone agrees he’s like some sort of Marvel hero. I decided to adopt him immediately. If James Egan ever needs a stand-in mom, I’m here for him.
I can do without Owens, but James Egan is the true champ of this Gwyneth Paltrow Trial! And he cute 😏 pic.twitter.com/Eg0F4okd1v
— Zack Peter (@justplainzack) March 28, 2023
Related: Why Do You Hate Gwyneth Paltrow More Than You Love Due Process?
We’ve rooted for him during this trial, especially since he appears to be working for the odious Steve Owens, Paltrow’s lead attorney who is so abrasive that S.O.S. pads are soft in comparison. We’re all rooting for the day Egan gets to strike out on his own.
But maybe that day is now.
The chat did a little digging and found Egan’s Instagram account where he was posing with his new baby at the piano. That led to a discovery on Spotify that I still haven’t totally digested. James Egan is a damn star. I’m sitting here listening to his playlist of original music and I’m blown away. I consider myself a musical talent. I come from a long line of musicians including operatic talent. We all sing, we play instruments, we all have perfect pitch, and we know good music. Egan is Ben Folds Five with a law degree. Why is he slaving away in court and working for a dolt like Owens when he should be tickling the keys for adoring crowds?
I have no idea.
Maybe someone told him to get a “real” job and so he went to law school. How many of us heard from our parents, “You need a real job!” And he’s good at the law, no doubt. But this is better. It’s making me cry. This is what the world needs more of: soulful, heartfelt, outpourings of the human soul. This is it. While lawyers can be the answer to prayers, I’m not sure Egan is going to get to that level in the civil court in Utah where rich people fight each other over who lost more time on a ski mountain. Maybe if he was practicing civil rights law or criminal defense, I’d see it. But fighting over which millionaire is right seems like a waste of this man’s talent to me.
What is humanity seeking and in need of right now? Is it another million-dollar payout or a song that can move you to tears? By the time the chorus kicks in with the crashing cymbals in “Worth Waiting For,” I was weeping. I’ve heard a lot of “singer-songwriter” attempts at originality and been left wanting. All I want after hearing Egan’s music is more.
I will tell you this: you can make this man’s ivory dreams come true. We don’t value artistic talent in this country enough. We need to recognize it when we hear it and then support it — and this is it. James Egan, my adopted son (whether he wants to be or not) is someone you need to know. Go listen and I dare you to tell me I’m wrong. It’s so hard to write good music. This man has talent. If he doesn’t want to practice law, he shouldn’t have to. Has Gwyneth heard this? Surely she still has that Coldplay dude’s number. Hook a brother up, Gwyn. He’s amazing.
It’s funny that we’ve been calling him a superhero in disguise from day one. We were right! He’s a musical star pretending to be a lawyer by day. We see you, James. You’re a star with only 13 monthly listeners on Spotify. We can do better than that, can’t we fam?
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