2020 Dems Through the Eyes of Iron Maiden

2020 Dems Through the Eyes of Iron Maiden
(AP Photo/Susan Walsh, File)

America has seen what they have to offer, the Democrat presidential candidates.

Partial- and even post-birth abortion. Open borders, and an Electoral College that will install politicians like Maxine Waters and Adam Schiff as permanent decision-makers regarding the country’s future.  A Green New Deal that will hobble the United States while leaving foreign countries free to pollute the environment. Free healthcare for everyone (including illegal aliens?), solidarity with relentless harassment of President Trump, simply because he beat them. But don’t dare question the actions of the candidate he defeated.

And in the case of potential nominee Bernie Sanders, granting the vote to incarcerated psychopaths like the terrorist Boston bomber and the scumbag who assassinated Robert Kennedy, Sirhan Sirhan.

How much crazier it will get will only become known in the time between now and the 2020 election. It is almost as if they know that they have lost the vast majority of the electorate. Some have called it a suicide mission. Others warn that the traditional citizenry mustn’t dismiss this extreme-left outbreak of un-Americanism with bemused schadenfreude.

Though it grows more unlikely with each news cycle, it is theoretically possible, just as it is theoretically possible that an undetected asteroid could impact and destroy the planet Earth, that one of the candidates profiled below could actually defeat President Trump.

So, let’s go to the videotape. Let us look upon this hopelessly malcontented gallery through the eyes of the premier band of early eighties metal revivalism, keepers of the metallic flame created by Black Sabbath and Judas Priest, the great and powerful Iron Maiden.

Elizabeth Warren “Run to The Hills”

It is terrible to contemplate the disastrous effect European colonists, pioneers, and settlers had on indigenous populations on the North American continent. And it is pretty lousy in the present day to culturally appropriate the legacy of those tribal populations for the purposes of acquiring ethnic cachet.

Elizabeth Warren’s spurious claim to Native American lineage is a perfect example of progressivism’s sickening white guilt and associated attempts to co-opt the aura of “color.”  Warren has no more tribal blood than nutcase Rachel Dolezal had African-American blood, and she has paid a steep price for attempting to package that guilt as part of her resume.

Iron Maiden’s anthem chronicling the colonial and imperialist usurpation of America’s first inhabitants stands as a bold indictment. What is also terrible to contemplate is the possibility that Caucasian Warren and her off-putting diversity politics could ever ascend to the presidency.

Robert “Beto” O’Rourke “Flight of Icarus”

Everyone knows the story from Greek mythology. Icarus wanted to fly, to achieve unsurpassed heights, and reach the very threshold of heaven.

His father had crafted wings out of wax and feathers to affect an escape, but warned him not to fly too close to the sun. But Icarus had an inflated sense of his own competence, and set out upon a grand flight for which he had neither the proper wings nor the requisite level of understanding and wisdom.

When he neared the sun–the Godhead evoked by the myth–his hubris resulted in a precipitous fall.

When Congressman “Beto” O’Rourke calls for the removal of all barriers and fences at the southern border, thereby welcoming an unlimited horde of foreign invaders, he has fallen short of the requisite wisdom. When he signals that he is willing to fight and ideologically die on Green New Deal hill, he has signaled a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When he broadcasts a dental procedure that makes even veterans of Katie Couric’s colonoscopy squeamish, he forfeits all gravitas, and will last be seen with candled wings in the vicinity of the sun.

Joe Biden “Quest for Fire”

Even the most loyal Maiden fans recognize that “QFF” is one of the band’s lesser efforts. There’s a decent main riff, and a heavy enough lead guitar break, but the derivative chorus and pompous lyrics (“Discover we are man!”) keep the tune in the realm of the deepest of deep tracks. It is widely believed that the band never once played the song live.

On a personal note, I have read published interviews with bassist Steve Harris and vocalist Bruce Dickinson wherein the bandmates openly laugh about the dunderheadedness of the number.

One big problem is that the narrative places early human species in “a time when dinosaurs walked the earth.” The geologic record of the Jurassic epoch goes back hundreds of millions of years. The anthropological history of human evolution is very, very old.

But as just about any fifth-grader knows, there were no men in the time of the dinosaurs.

Except, wait for it, Joe Biden.

No, but seriously, nominee or not, Mr. Biden is facing extinction. There is too much troubling past and no future.

Bernie Sanders “Powerslave”

Bernie Sanders is even older than Biden, but that’s not even close to being the worst thing recommending he never be allowed to become president. Sanders is a Democratic Socialist.  

This monumental song from the 1984 album of the same name is about an arrogant Pharaoh in his dying hours. He’s been raised to think he’s a god, and can’t understand why he’s about to die. With the power of death looming, he promises to return as a mummy.

Extrapolating from this context, Sanders is the socialist Pharaoh who surveys the kingdoms of Earth, the European Socialists, the South American and Cuban Communists, and all forms of failed collectivism. He has been inculcated in a socialist mindscape and can’t understand why the system has not worked.

With the death of global socialism looming, eclipsed by capitalism, he vows to return again, without the shroud of Egyptian death goddess Nephthys hanging over his ascension to power and bid to inflict socialism on the bastion of capitalism.

But there is another, with superior power, who proclaims that “America will never be a socialist country.”

The Rest of the Democrat Field “Hallowed Be Thy Name”   

Pan-flash Pete Buttigieg. The deluded Cory Booker, who had the temerity to compare himself to a hero like Spartacus. Commie Kamala. Eric Swalwell, who crypto-fascistically demanded President Trump prove his innocence. “Deep Throat” Hickenlooper? The rest of a glutted field, all far-lefties or talking the talk. These people do not have a prayer.

We will give them one, “HBTN,” an early Maiden tune that cemented for all time the image of vocalist Dickinson praying as he waits to ascend the scaffold and meet his executioner.

At five o’clock, they take me, to the gallows pole.

The sands of time for me, are running low.

Time is running out for these presumptuous pontificators. We’ve seen what they have to offer, and what the four frontrunners are peddling. You don’t switch horses in midstream, and you don’t vote a commander-in-chief out of office when the economic tide is high.

The United States of America is under new management, back on top, and looking to stay there. The idea that any of these people could become president is just dumb.