Kruiser's (Almost) Daily Distraction: The Best 'Babylon Bee' Post Ever?

(Kruiser’s Permanote Description: This column is intended to be a lighthearted, short-form way to frequently connect with our cherished VIP readers. Sometimes it will be serious. Sometimes it will be fun. Sometimes it will be a cornucopia of intellectual curiosities and fascinations. OK, maybe not so much the last one. Anyway, as this is a departure for me, I’m including this explanation at the top of each post for a while. Also, non-subscribers can see the first couple of paragraphs so I am in desperate need of filler until we get to the private stuff (subscribe here). Please remember that there is a standing invitation to ask me anything in the comments. Once a week, I’ll answer.)

We are all aware that the world could use a little more laughter. I’d be writing about that a lot even if I weren’t a comedian. People are just way too serious now. It’s like 90 percent of the population is in dire need of an enema.


I’ve taken it upon myself to try and bring some levity to most situations. It just seems like the thing a comic should do. Also, all of the long faces are wearing me right the you-know-what out. Near the end of every Morning Briefing (subscribe here, it’s free), I like to bring a little levity. I always post something from either The Babylon Bee, The Onion, or Reductress…all satire sites. Usually it’s the Bee, because the site has become a favorite safe space for conservatives looking for something to laugh at.

The Bee gets to me in different ways. Usually the headline and the tweet are enough, but on Wednesday I came across a gem that had two lines buried in the article that cracked me up. Of course, the headline alone was funny:

On to the article:

Women are so amazing, in fact, that men spent thousands of years fighting wars and building civilization just so women could have air conditioning.

That was part of the explanation about why women took the top spot.

This is from the blurb about the second place finish for the men:

They also risk their lives climbing high telephone poles and working on dangerous oil rigs, all so women can have air conditioning.

I’ve gotten hours of entertainment out of those two lines so far today. The blurbs written for each gender are solid, but the air conditioning stuff makes it hilarious. It’s such an effortless dig at the woke scolds who would insist that gender is fluid and there are no basic differences between men and women.

I haven’t been ranking material from The Babylon Bee thus far, but I may start now.

As of this moment, this post is in my Number One slot.

Now I have to get back to work so I can pay my electric bill and ensure that any women who visit my house can have air conditioning.