I came to faith in Jesus at an early age. It was a logical decision for me, not a whole lot of emotion. I can’t say that I’ve experienced major doubts, although it comes over me from time to time.
Even with my relatively easy road of faith, I can feel for people who deal with extended seasons of doubt. I’ve prayed for people plenty of times to help them with those struggles.
A few months ago, Dr. Matthew Halsted released an episode of his podcast, The Bible Unmuted, about Jeremiah 20 and how faith and doubt aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. It came to my mind again last week when that chapter came up in my daily Bible reading plan.
“I have long considered Jeremiah 20 to be one of the most transparent passages in all of scripture,” Halsted says. “It is a chapter that contains the heart and soul of the prophet's true self.”
After the priest Pashhur beats the prophet Jeremiah and throws him in jail, Jeremiah tells Pashhur what the Lord’s plans are for the rebellious priest. Then, Jeremiah prays this heartrending prayer to the Lord. He begins lamenting his difficulties:
O Lord, you have deceived me, and I was deceived; you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughingstock all the day; everyone mocks me. For whenever I speak, I cry out, I shout, “Violence and destruction!” For the word of the Lord has become for me a reproach and derision all day long. If I say, “I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot. For I hear many whispering. Terror is on every side! “Denounce him! Let us denounce him!” say all my close friends, watching for my fall. “Perhaps he will be deceived; then we can overcome him and take our revenge on him.”
Jeremiah 20:7-10 (ESV)
Then the prophet changes his tune to an expression of praise:
But the Lord is with me as a dread warrior; therefore my persecutors will stumble; they will not overcome me. They will be greatly shamed, for they will not succeed. Their eternal dishonor will never be forgotten. O Lord of hosts, who tests the righteous, who sees the heart and the mind, let me see your vengeance upon them, for to you have I committed my cause. Sing to the Lord; praise the Lord! For he has delivered the life of the needy from the hand of evildoers.
Jeremiah 20:11-13 (ESV)
“You might come to the conclusion that Jeremiah's sorrow has finally been remedied, vanquished, and tossed into the abyss,” Halsted points out. “If you think this, you're wrong.”
Cursed be the day on which I was born! The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed! Cursed be the man who brought the news to my father, “A son is born to you,” making him very glad. Let that man be like the cities that the Lord overthrew without pity; let him hear a cry in the morning and an alarm at noon, because he did not kill me in the womb; so my mother would have been my grave, and her womb forever great. Why did I come out from the womb to see toil and sorrow, and spend my days in shame?
Jeremiah 20:14-18 (ESV)
This bittersweet mix of faith and doubt reminds me of the cry of a man who asks Jesus to heal his son: “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24b, ESV). It shows how what so many people think are polar opposites can exist within a situation.
“Most Christians can identify with this man from time to time,” notes GotQuestions. “It is the acknowledgement of our inadequacy that allows God to work in our lives.”
Halsted notes that doubt and faith go hand in hand for Jeremiah. He says, “I suppose the principle is this: even our doubts about God can, if handled rightly, reveal our deep faith in God.”
“At first glance, it might appear that Jeremiah has deep doubts about God's goodness,” Halsted continues. “In truth, he does. However, because he feels the freedom to take such hard feelings to God, he reveals what he truly believes; namely, that God is strong enough to handle all of his doubts and loving enough to want Jeremiah to bring them to him. And it is this that Jeremiah believes. Ironically then, Jeremiah's doubts about God serve to reveal his faith in God.”
I go back to what I said at the beginning of this column. My life is definitely not free of doubt, even if faith is easy for me. When I do struggle with doubt, it inevitably opens the door for the Lord to work in my life (especially when I doubt that God will use me for His purposes). My doubts serve to strengthen my faith when God works in my situation. As always, it leads to His glory.
Don’t despair when you go through a season of doubt. Doubt and faith go hand in hand more often than we expect. Keep trusting, and keep worshiping even in your doubts. God will work for His glory every time.
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