Progressive Christianity Watch: Music (and Rap) Edition

Photo by Bertrand Colombo on Unsplash

I had plans for another take on progressive Christianity this week, but then I stumbled on a handful of musical moments that I couldn’t help but share with you. Many times these columns can leave us sad, angry, or just shaking our heads, but I think we could all use a laugh and an opportunity to ridicule some of these people.

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This will be a somewhat shorter column, but I think you’ll still appreciate the craziness. For starters, some songs shouldn’t belong anywhere near a church. One of those songs is John Lennon’s stupid anthem to atheism and communism, “Imagine.”

On this week’s episode of “Faith All Over the Place,” my friend and colleague Stephen Kruiser and I briefly talked about how Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood sang “Imagine” at Jimmy Carter’s funeral. That’s bad enough, but what if you heard that song at a church service?

All I can ask is, “WHY?” My friend and boss, PJ Media’s Managing Editor Paula Bolyard, replied:

Then again, I’m not sure I want to hear these people sing anything, much less an atheistic anthem, in church.

Related: Faith All Over the Place, Episode 9: Rough Week for Pope Francis Haters

What if you came to church one Sunday and stood up to sing these lyrics?

We are a gentle, angry people, and we are singing, singing for our lives 

We are gay and straight together, and we are singing, singing for our lives

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I’m not sure where Ichabod Community Church is, but the congregation there “sang” it recently. I put “sang” in quotation marks because these people sound so bad.

I can’t make out the melody because of the horrid singing, but I can hear the heresy loud and clear.

Related: 'Glitter Blessings' and Women Pastors Who Say 'Queer' a Lot

This one might not quite fit the definition of progressive Christianity, but for those of you who had rapping German Catholic priests on your bingo card, today’s your lucky day! Maybe it’s one thing to have somebody rapping at your church, but to have the priest doing it in full regalia is a whole ‘nother matter. Still, this guy can spuck ein paar Reime aus.

In case you’re not up on your German rap, I have the English translation below. Sorry, Scroll didn’t do the line breaks:

And they don't even want to put on a pious front. On the surface, some people just look down their noses. But everyone here in the church is actually quite cheerful. Many are fully committed, not just here to chill. Instead of bling, some live their faith more quietly. But today things are getting loud, and this beat proclaims to everyone: God changes lives, and that should resound loudly.

All of us gathered here today can understand ourselves as a child loved by God. Translated into rapper language, just check it out. The one up in heaven is in a really good mood for you.

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That’s… something.

Finally, I’ll leave you with this blasphemy:

I’m speechless. You probably are, too. Oh well, that’s it for this week; see you next time!

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