Memento Mori

I had to help out with my share of funerals in 13 years on staff at my church, including the funerals of children. I’ve had friends pass away going all the way back to elementary school; it seemed like the first year or two after high school graduation saw more than a couple of my classmates die for different reasons.

Now that I’m in my 50s, I get reminders of my mortality all the time. On Thursday, my friend Paul passed away. I’ve known Paul since 1st or 2nd grade, so he was my longest-lasting friendship that I’ve lost to death. For some reason, that affected me greatly.

Paul and I were friends from early elementary school through graduation, but we sort of lost touch even though we lived in the same town until the advent of social media — like so many old friendships that rekindled when Facebook became a thing. But we picked up like we never lost touch.

We had fun conversations about sports, and Paul had a hilarious sense of humor. He worked for State Farm, and he would often check in to work on Facebook with the hashtag #nokhakis. He and his wife had a daughter later on — she’s about 7 or 8. He affectionately referred to her as “Scoot,” and he was at one of her softball games just two days before he died.

Paul was a Democrat (or at least he wasn't a Trump voter), but he was one of the few I didn’t snooze after the election or the inauguration for making nasty, cheap shots at Donald Trump and his supporters. He was a good, true friend, and his death hit me harder than I expected it to.

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Like I said before, it’s a reminder of my own mortality. There’s a Latin saying: memento mori. It means, “Remember you must die.” Life is undeniably fleeting.

Tim Challies puts it this way:

Life is fleeting—fleeting like the mist that rises in the cool morning air but is then blown away by the gentlest breeze. It is fleeting like the spring snow that falls from a cold sky but melts the moment it touches the warm ground. It is fleeting like a ship that fades into the distance and sails over the far horizon, fleeting like a train that rushes past with a roar and is gone. Scarcely do we draw our first breath before we draw our last. Scarcely do we open our eyes before we close them once more. Scarcely do we live before we die.

That thought can be depressing, but it doesn’t have to be. The Bible reminds us how fleeting our lives are as well. “And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment,” writes the author of Hebrews in Hebrews 9:27.

“Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity,” says Qohelet, traditionally believed to be King Solomon, in Ecclesiastes 1:2.

But how do we handle that knowledge because it’s heavy? We can be morose, or if we’re believers, we can look to the Lord and ask Him for wisdom.

Moses writes in Psalm 90:9-17:

For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. 

The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. 

Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? 

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. 

Return, O Lord! How long? Have pity on your servants! 

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. 

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. 

Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. 

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands! (emphasis added)

We can remember that God is in control, as the Apostle James (Jesus’ brother) wrote:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

James 4:13-15 (ESV)

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We can also trust in Jesus. As he told Martha before he raised her brother Lazarus from the dead, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25, ESV)

Yes, I believe this, and it carries me through good days and bad. I can live my life like the Apostle Paul:

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.

Philippians 1:21-24 (ESV)

I can long for eternity because I know that a wonderful infinity awaits me with my Lord and my faithful family and friends, but I can also live my life on earth in joy and service — no matter how much longer I have here on earth.

My friend Paul was a believer in Jesus, so I’ll see him in eternity, just like I’ll see my family members, fellow churchgoers, and believing friends. My faith gives me hope for today and for the future.

Memento mori. Remember you must die.

But also, memento vivere. Remember you must live.