Let’s face it: the Batman franchise of comic books, TV shows, and movies has made it harder for criminals to make a name for themselves. You see, for a criminal to distinguish himself or herself, he or she has to have a compelling gimmick, and, bless his heart, one bank robber in Texas is trying to make a name for himself.
“A man dressed as a woman walked into three Texas banks this month and handed tellers sticky notes with ‘threatening’ messages demanding cash, earning him the nickname ‘Sticky Note Bandit,’ the FBI said,” as WSB Radio reports.
You can’t blame a fella for trying, but come on, man! If you’re going to get some real attention, you’re going to have to do something more original than dressing as a woman. I mean, everybody does that these days.
I also can’t help but wonder how threatening a note someone can write on a sticky note. There’s not a ton of surface space, and they don’t always stick well. Still, the “Sticky Note Bandit” has struck three times with varying degrees of success.
The FBI says that the man entered Houston’s Hancock Whitney Bank on July 5 “dressed as a female, approached a teller, and handed them a threatening note written on a sticky note which demanded cash,” getting away with an undisclosed amount.
The robber tried again on July 11 and 13, hitting Wells Fargo branches wearing a similar getup. “During the last two robberies, he wore a black wig, black sunglasses, a blue medical mask, a green women’s style sweater, black women’s ballet flats, and carried a black purse,” according to the FBI.
On July 11, the “teller walked away from the counter and locked themselves in the back room for safety.” The robber lingered but eventually left without any money. Two days later, he tried the same tactic at another Wells Fargo branch and left with an undisclosed amount of cash.
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The FBI maintains an online database of bank robberies that the bureau hasn’t solved yet. Aside from the astonishing fact that there are 13 pages of unsolved bank holdups — I guess solving bank heists isn’t as urgent as going after pro-lifers, Catholics, and “MAGA extremists” — it’s fascinating that so many of these bank robbers have nicknames.
There’s Maine’s “Thirsty Bandit“: “Prior to the robbery, the man was seen at a nearby store grabbing something from the cooler to drink, which is why he has been nicknamed the ‘Thirsty Bandit.’” But nobody beats New Mexico for “nicknamed” bank jobs.
New Mexico has the “Ski Bum Bandit,” who “wore a dark hooded sweatshirt, ski goggles, a blue surgical mask, a blue glove on the right hand, dark pants, and dark running shoes,” as well as two Ninja-themed robbers, 2022’s “Ninja Bank Robber” and 2023’s “Ninja Blade Bandido.”
Okay, none of these nicknames are as clever or memorable as the Penguin or the Riddler, but you have to give some of these bank robbers props for making a name for themselves. The “Sticky Note Bandit” hasn’t made his way onto the database yet, but he’s bound to make the list soon, especially if he keeps trying. Maybe he needs to make his way to New Mexico; apparently, they’ll let anybody rob a bank.
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