Is There a Polite Way to Handle the Pronoun Madness?

AP Photo/Rick Bowmer

One of the most maddening things about modern culture is the whole issue of pronouns. At the very least, it’s annoying that some people trumpet their pronouns, choosing to base their identity on how people address them when talking about them behind their backs. But it’s even worse the way some people freak out over people using the wrong pronouns as if other people have nothing better to do than keep up with what everybody’s pronouns are at any given moment.


Prounoun obsession is the ultimate form of narcissism; it’s entirely self-focused to think that everyone should bend to the whim of what you want to call yourself. We see pronouns pop up on social media bios and in email signatures, and some companies are even mandating that employees include pronouns in bios and signatures.

But for the vast majority of us whose pronouns are obvious because we don’t choose to identify as something that God didn’t intend for us to be, informing the world of our pronouns is unnecessary. Add to it the fact that acknowledging pronoun usage is a way of having to capitulate to the transgender nonsense, and having to play the pronoun game can be offensive.

Is there a polite way to address this pronoun madness? This weekend, I stumbled on a blog post from a couple of weeks ago at the apologetics website Stand to Reason, and it demonstrates how one man successfully stood up to an expectation (and we know what that really means) in his workplace.

Related: You Can’t Escape the Pride Cult Even When You’re Trying to Learn Another Language

Stand to Reason’s Amy K. Hall wrote, “I recently spoke to a Stand to Reason supporter who received a company-wide email saying leaders were expected to display their pronouns.” She went on to include the text of the man’s email reply to his employers.

I appreciate the goal of mutual respect and creating a welcoming environment for everyone. My desire is to be respectful of everyone. The expectation to display my pronouns asks me to accept a premise that I can’t accept—namely, that my pronouns could be different than he/him. It’s an ontological claim about the nature of reality, and I hold a different view. I’m not asking those that are transgender to accept my view of reality, but I’m being asked to accept theirs.

I can live and work with respect toward anyone with differing beliefs than my own, including my transgender coworkers. Can I be respected in my beliefs that differ on the nature of gender and identity while affirming the dignity of every person?


The man’s email resonated with his bosses, and they told him that “the pronouns were not mandatory.”

Hall lauded the email because it politely addressed the issues: “1) The request is not neutral, 2) the request is contrary to my beliefs, 3) mutual respect requires neither party be forced to affirm something they don’t affirm, and 4) I affirm the dignity of every human being, regardless of their beliefs on this topic, and will treat all with respect.”

Of course, your mileage may vary. Your employer may not be so accommodating, but they can listen and hopefully respect a polite response. Your bosses may say that you still have to abide by any regulations, and at that point, you’ll have to make that ethical decision. But there is a polite way to address the pronoun madness at work, and we can learn from this man’s example how to speak up for what’s right in our culture in a gentle and thoughtful way.

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