Nirvana Lawsuit Fails: Oh Well, Whatever, Nevermind

Nirvana’s Nevermind has become an iconic album. It has sold a whopping 30 million copies and counting, and it established grunge as the prevailing alt-rock sound of the early ’90s.

The album’s distinctive cover has been a topic of conversation for 31 years as well. Frontman Kurt Cobain took inspiration from photographs of water births, but actual water birth photos were too graphic. So photographer Kirk Weddle high-tailed it to an aquatic center where parents took their babies to swim.

Weddle photographed Spencer Elden, the newborn son of a friend his friend Mike. According to NPR, Mike Elden received $200 for the brief shoot. The cover image has been a conversation piece as well, with newborn full-frontal causing some controversy. When Geffen records balked at the idea of using the photo as an album cover, Cobain reportedly told the record label that it could put a sticker that read, “If you’re offended by this, you must be a closet pedophile” over Elden’s baby penis.

Since then, Spencer Elden has tried to milk his baby fame for all it’s worth. Stereogum headlined a 2015 profile with, “Dude Really Wants You To Know He Was On The Cover Of Nirvana’s Nevermind.” He told Rolling Stone in 2003, when he was only 12, that he was “probably gonna get some money from it,” he has recreated the photo multiple times, and he even has “Nevermind” tattooed on his chest.

But he has also tried to cash in, claiming that being a nude baby model for a blockbuster album cover traumatized him. He told Time in 2016, “[When] I go to a baseball game and think about it: ‘Man, everybody at this baseball game has probably seen my little baby penis,’ I feel like I got part of my human rights revoked.”

Yeah, I’m sure everybody sees Elden and knows exactly who he is. Trust me, nobody’s seeing Elden and thinking he’s triggering “my libido.”

However, Elden has tried to sue the band three times over the photo, but on Friday, a judge put a stop to Elden’s litigiousness. I supposed you could call it “a denial.”

“In a decision on Friday, U.S. District Judge Fernando Olguin in Los Angeles said Spencer Elden waited too long to claim Nirvana sexually exploited him, having sued more than 10 years after learning about the cover,” reports Newsmax.

Elden argued that being the, um, face of Nevermind caused, “emotional distress, lost earning capacity and ‘loss of enjoyment of life’ continued into adulthood.”

“The judge rejected that argument, saying it would effectively permit Elden to sue Nirvana indefinitely,” continues the Newsmax report.

“In sum, plaintiff fails to allege that he knew of a violation that occurred while he was a minor or an injury that forms the basis of the claim within 10 years of filing this action,” Olguin stated in his ruling.

No word on whether Elden feels “stupid…and contagious.”

(Author’s note: Special thanks to Gwendolyn Sims for the awesome headline and to Matt Margolis and Kevin Downey, Jr. for lyrical pun inspiration.)