Buzz Ballad: My Favorite Things

My Favorite Things
—apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein, and “My Favorite Things”

Mossbergs and Rugers, AK-47s
Colt automatics from 1911
Triggers adjusted for easy firing
These are a few of my favorite things

Walnut grips finely cross-hatched for good traction
Vintage carbines with an easy bolt action
Revolvers with nickel plate or with bluing
These are a few of my favorite things

Clips upon which traces of gun grease linger
Hunting mittens with separate trigger fingers
Bayonet clips and thick webbing for slings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the politicians pander
And cry “Guns must go!”
I quickly drive down to the nearest Wal-Mart
And stock up on more ammo!