Go Plant Trees for the Environment, Taliban Tell Terrorists

After a bloody new year that has included detonating a bomb in an ambulance in central Kabul and attacking the Intercontinental Hotel, the Taliban are telling jihadists to get out their green thumbs along with their guns.

An official statement by the terror group’s Department of Agriculture and Agronomics directed jihadists to start planting trees as soon as the weather allows in order to curry favor with the local populace.

“Our sublime religion of Islam – just as it expounds on reformation of spiritual and moral wellbeing – also considers welfare, prosperity and economic advancement of an Islamic society and public charity as an obligation upon the Muslims,” said the Taliban statement.

“…It is due to this religious social obligation that the Islamic Emirate – alongside struggle for establishment of Shariah and armed Jihad – conducts development work for the wellbeing of its believing nation and reconstruction of its beloved homeland and has created special departments for construction and public welfare works.”

The Taliban noted that a “key component of public welfare works for the prosperity of our people and homeland is agriculture and tree plantation, and cited last year’s tree decree from Taliban leader Hibatullah Akhundzada that “was widely welcomed by the people and a multitude of trees were planted throughout the country.”

In that message, Akhundzada called on jihadists and civilians in occupied areas to “plant one or several fruit or non-fruit trees for the beautification of Earth and the benefit of almighty Allah’s creations.”

“Tree plantation plays an important role in environmental protection, economic development and beautification of earth,” the Taliban leader said. “Planting trees and agriculture are considered actions which hold both worldly good and benefit as well as immense rewards in the hereafter.”

In the latest statement from the terror group, the Taliban reminded everyone to comply with that decree and asked the “mujahideen to plant trees for the prosperity our homeland so that our nation and people can benefit from the abundant advantages of trees and greenery.”

The Taliban reap a lot of their profits from a different kind of planting: opium poppies.

The Taliban and their allies have gotten environmental before: a November 2016 issue of Inspire magazine from al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula slammed the Obama administration for being all talk and no action on climate change and protecting the environment.

“America opposed some laws that were imposed so as to reduce the use of materials that produce greenhouse gases,” the terror propaganda said. “It is astonishing and deceptive to hear Obama talk about the necessity of acting boldly in combating the danger of greenhouse gases, yet his own state has not responded and dealt adequately in reducing these deadly emissions.”