Communication, not manipulation, is key

Marianne Murciano, the woman with the a href=”http://www.trainaman.com/”How to Train your Man/a website that I wrote a href=”http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2010/05/and-now-you-will-have-to-pay-price.html”about here/a sent me an email. Here is part of it:br /br /blockquoteIf you take the time to read what this is really all about, you’ll realize that it’s far from being demeaning and degrading. Although the phrase, “Train a Man” can be upsetting to some men, it actually gets them whatever they want. I’m giving people sound advice; encouraging women to be honest about their relationships, and showing them how to ask for things they want while giving their partners what they want as well. I don’t need to apologize for talking about mutual respect, or creating a great relationship out of a mediocre one. In the process I’m hitting some hot buttons. br /br /Along with the truth, I’ve tried to incorporate a sense of humor. Have you personally seen the videos? Check them out. I hope you’re in a good relationship and that you and your mate are able to get a few laughs! What you’ll see are the issues we all struggle with. I didn’t make them up./blockquotebr /br /So, I watched a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q4QS9VOLrIfeature=player_embedded”the video I embedded below entitled, “The maid’s on strike.”/a A husband was referred to as “a child” for not helping enough with the housework and there seemed to be a lot of manipulation going on. Ms. Murciano (I’m going to assume that was her in the video) was telling the woman not to be the person that her husband expected if he did not do what she wanted–that is, she should span style=”font-style:italic;”not/span be an organized, detailed person who made his life easy. br /br /Silly me. I thought relationships were supposed to be about two adults who communicate their thoughts and feelings to each other. I didn’t know that one spouse (the woman) is supposed to treat her husband like the puppy dog she picked up at the pound last week. I get a bad feeling when one spouse tries to control another one with “training techniques.” That does not seem humorous to me. br /br /How would women respond to a video by a husband to “train” your woman to put out more? Or what if a husband was upset because he felt his wife did not appreciate the money he was bringing in from working? Instead of communicating with her, should he “train her” by being the bumbling free-loader that stays home, drinks beer and scratches his crotch? Maybe so. br /br /object width=”480″ height=”385″param name=”movie” value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/7q4QS9VOLrIhl=en_USfs=1″/paramparam name=”allowFullScreen” value=”true”/paramparam name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always”/paramembed src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/7q4QS9VOLrIhl=en_USfs=1″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true” width=”480″ height=”385″/embed/object