Why Aren’t We Doing More of This to Zohran Mamdani?

AP Photo/Seth Wenig

It’s probably already too late to change the outcome of the benighted mayoral race in New York City. But I recall a time when Madam President Hillary Clinton seemed inevitable. Nonetheless, the nation — and the world — launched into the Great Meme Wars, and we all laughed our butts off. When Donald Trump won a surprise victory, the memes — and the laughs — merely escalated. Today, the president himself is one of the biggest s**t-posters on the internet.

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Yet somehow, Zohran Mamdani, the Islamist Socialist about to become mayor of the erstwhile greatest city on Earth, has run his campaign with nothing but adulation and/or quaking from the press and the peanut gallery.

How has this been allowed to happen? Why is no one pointing and laughing? Will no one break the spell of reverence on which this inexperienced, un-American buffoon is gliding into office like a swan across the surface of a placid lake?

Where are the memes?

When I searched for Mamdani memes, all I found were gobsmacked posts that this aberration was about to take over NYC, on the social media accounts that are usually a great place to find a laugh. Just two examples:

(Actually, that Jews-for-Zohran video did make me laugh, though I doubt its makers intended that.)

I dug deeper and found a few noteworthy efforts. My only complaint is that these slams are intricately conceptualized and produced, and they lack the raw edge and irreverent gut-punch humor of a solid meme. Good stuff, though:

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These are closer to what I am looking for, but they still aren't mean and funny enough:

And of course, this was unintentionally hysterical:

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Maybe the lack of spontaneous guttersnipe mockery can be explained by the dolorous sense of doom because the mighty Big Apple is about to undergo a great tragedy. But to that, I say that the tragedy has already happened. This is the city that elected law enforcement officials who attacked a past president with lawfare, after all, and it's the city that produced the jury pools that convicted him. It has also elected a city council that is far left, humorless, heavy-handed, and already passing its own foolish, miserable mandates.

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So of course these people are electing the likes of Mamdani as their leader. The tragedy has already occurred. Remember the old saying: Fascism does not happen because of dictatorship; dictatorship happens because of fascism.

The Big Apple has already rotted and fallen from the tree. The people who live there will now get what they want, good and hard. That's democracy! So enough talk of tragedy — how about that frickin' name?

Disclaimer: I went to a high school peopled with blonds, rednecks, and brothers, and you can bet my name (especially my then-last name) was regularly marauded. (And tbh, some of the permutations were hysterical, but then, I actually have a sense of humor.) My point is that I’m an immigrant’s kid, and I’ve been tested in the fire and earned the right to make fun of other people’s names, so here we go:

Swami Mamdani (no, I'm not culturally illiterate; it just sounds funny)
Moron Zamboni
Salmon Pastrami

I asked Grok for some examples and got a top-ten list, complete with executive summaries:

  • Bozar Mandingo – A Temu wizard with a tropical flair.
  • Zany Harmadillo – A chaotic critter that rolls into trouble.
  • Ranzo Madhatter – The guy who shows up to tea parties uninvited.
  • Hazmo Dramaroni – Pasta-based superhero with zero chill.
  • Nohaz Mandaroon – A lunar fruit that judges your life choices.
  • Zorba Hamdaniel – Greek dancer turned biblical sidekick.
  • Mando Zaharoni – Cheesy villain from a low-budget sci-fi.
  • Rozan Damnanini – Fancy Italian curse word in disguise.
  • Hozram Bandanana – Pirate who accessorizes with fruit peels.
  • Zimra Handamomo – Tiny alien obsessed with high-fives.
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What’s your favorite mashup of almost-Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s name? See you in the comments!

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