Did I Miss It?

Kelsea Ballerini recently dropped a song called “I Sit In Parks,” and a friend sent it to me with the warning: “Do not listen to this until you’re ready for the sappy, sad feels.” And oooohhhhhh buddy – was she right. If you’re a millennial single woman, this song hits like a freight train full of nostalgia and legit unmet expectations. It did for me anyway.

We grew up being told we could be anything.

We were told to be strong. Independent. Unbothered.

We were told we didn’t need a man – that we should chase careers, be “boss women,” build our own lives.

And while I’m genuinely thankful for that independence, I’m also sitting here wondering: Did I miss it? Did I focus so hard on the dream of success that I fumbled the dream of a family?

Because here’s the truth, a lot of us millennial women don’t want to say out loud: We did exactly what we were told. We built the careers. We became the strong ones.

And yes, we can take out the trash and open our own doors…

But sometimes? We don’t want to.

We don’t need a man, but a lot of us WANT one. And if you’ve been in the dating pool recently, you know it’s less a pool and more… well, let’s just say there’s definitely some pee in said pool. Men aren’t men anymore, they haven’t been allowed to be men – but that’s a whole different conversation for another time…

So, did we miss the mark? Did we prioritize the climb over connection?

I’m thrilled for my friends who’ve found their person and built their families. But I’d also be lying if I said I wasn’t envious at times.

I love my career. I’m proud of it. But is that it? Is that the legacy?

Like Kelsea says, “Rolling Stone says I’m on the right road,” and many of us have been told that.

You’re accomplished. You’re successful. You’re on the right path. But what is the right path?

Because while my work fulfills me, it has also consumed me. I’ve become really good at chasing goals, but not nearly as intentional about chasing the things I want personally. There’s always this little voice in the back of my head when I see women my age with families – “I wonder if she wants my freedom like I want to be a mother?”

I definitely don’t have all the answers. Honestly, I have more questions than ever. Maybe that’s the point. Maybe that’s what Kelsea is trying to get us to do.

Stop. Sit. Think.

So the real question becomes: What do YOU actually want? A family? A career? Both?

Are you putting effort into dating, or are you buried in your boss b***h era? Which dream matters more? The one where someone loves and adores you, or the one where your career is loving you back?

I’ll be real with you – I want all of it. And maybe that makes me selfish. But lately I’m starting to wonder if “all of it” is even possible.

So for now, like Kelsea, I’ll keep sitting in parks. Letting my dogs run around while I watch cute families play, knowing “we look about the same age, (but) we don’t have same Saturdays.”

And yes, sometimes “it breaks my heart, ‘cause I see just how far I am from the things that I want.”

So, what do YOU want?

Are you taking steps toward that life? Or are you, like me, at home (when you’re not sitting in a park), waiting for Prince Charming to break in and sweep you off your feet?

Hate to break it to you, my friend, but that’s probably not happening. And if Prince Charming did break into my home, he’d likely end up staring down the business end of a 9mm… So honestly, it’s not looking good for either of us at that point anyway.