I'm Done With the Sex Scandals

I’m pretty much done with the sex scandals. They were fun, but they’re just going to have to carry on without me. If someone broke the law and you can prove it, prosecute him. If someone violated the rules of his organization, eject him. Other than that, if women have forgotten the fine art of slapping a man in the face, there’s not a whole hell of a lot society can do for them. You keep silent for forty years and then ruin a man’s career with an unprovable allegation — and that makes you a hero? Not to me.

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Look, I think Al Franken is a nasty little piece of corruption. I’m not even sure he actually resigned at all. I think he may have just faked it so Democrats could make a lot of hypocritical noise about Roy Moore down in Alabama. I suspect, after the Alabama election is over, if Moore loses, Franken will retract his intended resignation and it’ll all pass away. But beyond that, the truth is, I don’t care whether he grabbed a couple of bottoms or not. I already know he’s a creep. Any woman he grabbed should have smacked him a good one and told him to knock it off at the top of her lungs. When did women become such helpless little flowers? Slapping is a very good system of justice in these cases. Slap him, shout at him, then let the voters decide.

I don’t like Roy Moore either. I don’t like the way he inflames people’s prejudices or the way he wields the Bible at his political enemies and at gay people. I think he’s a hypocrite. But you know what? If he legally dated and kissed teenagers when he was in his thirties, I truly do not think it is any of my business. One woman says he attacked her violently, but her story has some serious holes in it. One woman says she was only fourteen when he felt her up, but he denies it and it was so bloody long ago who the hell knows?

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Either way, I don’t think voting for Moore is going to bring about the moral apocalypse, and I don’t think it means the Republican Party is going to hell. There are other issues on the table. I don’t want to retract the Declaration of Independence because Jefferson took advantage of a slave girl. I’m not going to surrender to Germany because Eisenhower cheated on his wife. Sex makes people do bad and stupid things. Again, prosecute, eject or slap. Otherwise, I’ll take each case in context as it comes.

Anyway, that’s how I see it, but, according to our media elites, the rules are different. According to them, Democrats can run interference for an accused sex abuser and his complicit wife for 25 years, they can call a priapic woman-slaughterer the lion of the Senate, but one make-believe resignation speech from a handsy comedian? Then the Democrats’ worst problem is that they’re “too pure.” As for Republicans: they shouldn’t decide elections on the issues but should instead fly into a moral panic the moment the mainstream media charges their candidate with anything, whether it’s traveling with his dog on the car roof or dating a girl too young for him forty years ago.

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As far as I’m concerned, there’s one sex act the media elites can all go perform with my complete approval. For the rest, I’m going to mind my own business — which is voting for what’s best for my country.

For more commentary, listen to my podcast Monday through Thursday.

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