Klavan On The Culture

Leftism's Wonderful Absurdity


With all the actual human suffering this leftist administration has caused on our borders, with all the left’s attacks on our constitutional rights and the oppressive corruption of our leftist bureaucracy from the IRS on down, it’s sometimes difficult to remember just how wonderfully funny leftists actually are. When harmlessly confined to a secluded space where only a select few will hear them — like a show on CNN — their ideas really are a delightfully absurd parody of a delightfully absurd leftist being delightfully absurd. It’s like an infinite regress of comedy.

To wit:  here’s CNN’s Don Lemon — who once wondered aloud whether a black hole might have swallowed that missing Malaysian jetliner — moderating a debate between University of Mississippi senior Sierra Mannie and writer and comedian H. Alan Scott. Miss Mannie wrote an article for Time demanding that white gay people “stop stealing black female culture.”

I don’t care how well you can quote Madea, who told you that your booty was getting bigger than hers, how cute you think it is to call yourself a strong black woman, who taught you to twerk, how funny you think it is to call yourself Quita or Keisha or for which black male you’ve been bottoming — you are not a black woman, and you do not get to claim either blackness or womanhood. It is not yours. It is not for you…

The difference is that the black women with whom you think you align so well, whose language you use and stereotypical mannerisms you adopt, cannot hide their blackness and womanhood to protect themselves the way that you can hide your homosexuality. We have no place to hide, or means to do it even if we desired them.

Mr. Scott responded on his Thought Catalog blog with a post called “Don’t Listen to Time Magazine”:

Recognizing the things that she thinks belongs only to black women is the very thing that causes the separation and hate in our society. There’s a reason why this country is called a “melting pot,” because eventually, once you lose the bxxxsxxx separation and start appreciating what makes us all amazing, you start realizing that, “Wow, we’re not all that different after all.”

Well, when the important issues of our times are up for debate, Don Lemon is…  covering this. A debate between a college student who fears her status as an oppressed victim is being usurped by gay guys talking about their booties and a gay guy who thinks we’re all amazing because…  well, okay, I’m not sure why he thinks that, but I’m sure he’s got a reason. Maybe a drug experience he had while watching Fantasia.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking. You’re thinking, “Oh, Klavan, you’re such a funny guy. No one satirizes the left better than you do. A black woman and a white gay arguing over whether white gays should act like black women — where do you get your ideas?”

But no, this really happened. I swear. Really! And, in fact, it’s actually concerning because the issue is obviously what young people call “a white girl problem,” so both Scott and Mannie are clearly appropriating the culture of white girls, who in turn are being taken out to dinner by white men, who as always end up financing the entire operation. And what does this Sierra person mean by going around calling herself Mannie…?

But there’s really no point in my continuing to make jokes about this because, in all humility, I confess I can’t say anything funnier than the debate itself. So for the next few minutes, try to forget about what leftists do when some idiot like the American Voter gives them power. Instead, hearken back to the good old days when they filled the role they were born for: our nation’s clowns.

Watch and enjoy!

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