A Congressmen-Free Year

The following is actual proposed legislation from Congressman Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.):

111th CONGRESS
1st Session
H. CON. RES. 155
Supporting the goals and ideals of “Complaint Free Wednesday.”
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
June 17, 2009

Mr. CLEAVER (for himself, Mr. CLAY, and Mr. GRAVES) submitted the following concurrent resolution; which was referred to the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform

CONCURRENT RESOLUTION

Supporting the goals and ideals of “Complaint Free Wednesday.”

Whereas the average person complains approximately 15 to 30 times per day, resulting in roughly 4,500,000,000 complaints spoken every day in the United States;

Whereas complaining keeps people focused on current problems stultifying their innate abilities to seek and create positive, harmonious solutions;

Whereas complaining has been shown by research psychologists to be detrimental to a person’s physical and emotional health, relationships, and to limit their career success;

Whereas the “A Complaint Free World” organization is to be recognized for its efforts to encourage people to redirect their minds toward more positive, constructive, and rewarding lives and for its goal to positively inspire at least 1 percent of the global population (60 million people) to become complaint free;

Whereas thousands of people across the United States, including many students, have already adopted the complaint free attitude; and

Whereas “Complaint Free Wednesday” will be observed on the day before Thanksgiving, providing each person in the United States a day free from complaining in order to prepare for a day of gratitude: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved by the House of Representatives (the Senate concurring), That Congress —

(1) supports the goals and ideals of Complaint Free Wednesday;

(2) encourages each person in the United States to remember that having a positive life begins with having a positive attitude; and

(3) recognizes and reaffirms the meaning of Thanksgiving by asking each person in the United States to use “Complaint Free Wednesday” to refrain from complaining and prepare for a day of gratitude.

Ahem.

In the spirit of Congressman Cleaver’s bill, I submit a return proposal for Congress:

Whereas the average congressman gives cause for complaint several times a year by proposing asinine legislation that takes up the time of our elected officials and the money of taxpayers;

Whereas aforementioned legislation keeps congressmen focused on patronizing their constituency and not on sensible solutions to our dire economic conditions;

Whereas congressional arrogance and lack of common sense have been deemed a chronic condition and detrimental to the wallets of taxpayers;

Whereas the “Congressmen-Free Year” is to be recognized for its efforts to encourage congressmen to just stay home so people can redirect their minds toward more positive and rewarding lives rather than worrying about errant and wasteful legislation;

Whereas millions of American taxpayers have joined together to rid our Congress of its current inhabitants and replace them with people of common sense;

Whereas a “Congressmen-Free Year” will be observed starting on the day before Thanksgiving, providing each person in the United States a year free from congressional pomp and stupidity: Now, therefore, be it Resolved by the American Public, That Congress —

(1) supports the goals and ideals of a Congressmen-Free Year;

(2) encourages each person in the United States to remember that having a positive life begins with the 2010 elections;

(3) recognizes and reaffirms the meaning of Thanksgiving by giving thanks to God for our blessings and for the resolve to take our country back.