With Pope Benedict XVI set to retire, it’s time for me to throw my very large white hat back into the ring.
Replace the (cheap) red wine with the appropriate national spirit. Please, let’s try and have a little class.
I’ll support your papacy only if you promise to replace communion wine with giant martinis (Okay, or Margaritas. Dealer’s choice.). Bonus One: No more of this “It’s MILDLY alcoholic, you’re PROBABLY safe from infection” business. Bonus Two: The line between “church” and “cocktail party” will be reduced, and church will be a lot cooler with a black-tie dress code. Bonus Three: It might help loosen up a few of my fellow parishioners who take themselves WAY too seriously. The advantages are endless!
Of course, my headline for this story would have been “Pope to Give Up Papacy During Lent”, but I’m a bad person.
That last line? For the win.
How can you be half-Jewish and atheist at the same time?
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