Dear Speaker Boehner and Other Assorted Clueless Bozos on Capitol Hill,
You’ve already been pwned, and it’s too late to un-pwn yourself even if such a thing were possible. Which it isn’t. Now it’s time to try something new. Let’s call it: Give them what they want.
I’ll repeat: Give President Obama and the Democrats the tax hikes they demand, and which most polls show the American public accepts.
You’ll let us avoid the fiscal cliff — a phrase I’m going to do my best to avoid using from now on. A better phrase, if less elegant, might be, “the totally artificial fiscal construct engineered by our so-called leaders a while back, just in case they hadn’t already assed up the economy quite enough.” But I digress.
Give them the tax hikes. Look big, look magnanimous, look bipartisan. Be sure at every mention of the tax hikes to talk up the spending cuts and entitlement reforms Obama and the Democrats promised to talk about in a grand bargain down the road. Someday, whenevs, as soon as Obama gets his round tuit in the mail. The important thing is to change the subject.
You’ve been the subject for almost two weeks now, and that’s never a good thing. First of all, the media portray you as idiots and the Democrats portray you as evil. Secondly, then you get out in front of the cameras and do your darnedest to prove them all right. That [REDACTED] has got to stop.
The new subject can be: Why won’t the Democrats agree even just to a serious discussion about the spending reforms we so desperately need? “Have you seen these guys?” The media won’t go along, of course, but at least you’ll have changed the subject.
Later, you can talk about something else: Where are the revenues?
You know and I know (and even Obama knows) that increasing the top marginal tax rate won’t come even close to getting our fiscal house in order. At best, it’s like plugging a broken dam with a damp sponge. At worst, it’s like fighting a forest fire by wandering around in the woods with lighter fluid on your nads.
So next summer, next fall, that’s the new new subject: Where are the revenues?
And there’s a third subject that will fall nicely into place: Where are the jobs?