A Conversation from Real Life
New-to-me Urgent Care Doctor: When you cough, is the mucous any particular color?
Me: It’s a kaleidoscope of colors, if your kaleidoscope matches your ’70s kitchen.
New-to-me Urgent Care Doctor: Uh-huh.
One of my typical descriptions is:
“Well, it was sort of in the pastel range, but now we’re into the day-glo colors, so that’s why I’m here.”
They usually get it.
“I’ve gone from yellow, to green, to a darkish, festering, green-brown, with tints of black. Is that bad?”
You need a more cheerfully whimsical doctor…
Doctor: “When you cough, is the mucous any particular color?”
Me: “No, not really. But it has a bad attitude and a really raunchy vocabulary. And I think it may have hunted down and killed my neighbor’s cat.”
Most. VP-ish. Post. EVER.
Is your doctor old enough to know what a 70s kitchen looked like?
Doctors have no sense of humor.
I broke my left pinky, it was a very clean break, the x-ray looked like two sticks touching at an angle.
The emergency room doctor took hold of my hand and said, “Hey, what’s that?” pointing over my right shoulder, I looked and he grabbed the unattached part of the pinky, pulled it out, slid it over and back into alignment with the bottom part. Needless to say, I was less than amused at being made to look stupid while the Dr. had this smug, superior, “I’m smarter than you” look.
So I said to the doctor, “Dr., will I be able to play the violin?”
He says, “Yes”.
I say (with apologies/thanks to Henny Youngman), “Good, because I never could before.”
The intern wrapping my pinky thought that was hysterical, the Dr? Not so much.
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