My beautiful son made me change my shirt three times in a single feeding on Saturday. Usually what happens is, a lot of food goes in, and then a little food comes right back out – oftentimes staining my shirt.
I’d try burping more often while feeding with the expectation that he’ll burp up puke. Feed – Burp – Catch Puke – Feed Some More.
My oldest was a puker, too. (He wouldn’t be happy to see my typing that. Oh well!) I had stacks and stacks of cloth diapers in every room of the house to handle it. My other 2 kids barely urped at all, so I think we satisfied some baby puke quota with the first one… may you & Melissa be so lucky, too.
I’ll second Yeff’s suggestion to burp more frequently, but add another: feed The Boy in a more upright position. If he’s reclining too much that can add to the backwash effect.
It’s funny, just this weekend I was marveling at how little laundry I had to do. You think when your kids are babies the laundry issue wouldn’t be a burden, because their clothes are so teeny. But they go through so many changes, it makes up for the small size and then some. Ah, I do love babies, but I’m glad mine are out of that stage!
Thank you for making me laugh my ass off. I have two kiddies and I remember the puke days all too well.
I hope you are using one of those cloth diapers when you change him because you probably found out about the following equation:
undiapered baby boy + cold changing table = Old Faithful (the old shot in the eye).
Now if you can invent the protective piece of clothing that will protect a parent from that WMD, you will make a lot of money.
Thanks for making me laugh my ass off.
Forget about the three month diaper, develop something that protects a parent when changing a baby boy:
baby boy + cold changing table = Old Faithful.
Maybe some sort of night vision goggles?
You do know of course that is isn’t always required to change one’s shirt. I’ve worn spotted t-shirts for hours after snotty and or otherwise “effluentive” children have had their way with me. My wife will up that by saying she’s done the same for nine hours whilst holding her urine.
Goddamn martyr-envious better half.
Hey, Steve, you’re missing the most obvious aspect of this, The Law of Barfing: to wit, any area you cover with cloth will be clean; the baby will always find a spot to barf on that is unprotected.
This is akin to Murphy’s Law, but it’s more along the lines of Newtonian Physics. It is because it is.
Burp Poncho. Nice try. Now, how about your shoes and pants?
You want no barf on your clothes you have to go MOPP-5 [if I'm remembering correctly].
And, then, you’ve still got spit-up on your MOPP suit, so…
Take off your shirt while you’re burping him. It may sound gross, but it is easier to wipe a little spit up off your shoulder than it is to do all of that wash. Also, it’s far less gross than what will come down the line, walking quickly to the bathroom with your hands full of vomit from a three-year old, caught to protect the kid from covering himself, his bed, the carpet, etc.
If your son keeps throwing up a lot, you should ask your pediatrician to check for a condition known as pyloric stenosis. Our second son had it, and had to be operated on when he was just a few months old. The doctor wouldn’t believe my wife, so she sat on an old shower curtain, fed Dave an eight ounce bottle, and collected over seven ounces of puke.
All babies throw up some, but constant throwing up can be a sign of a problem.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. I am just a father of five.
I wouldn’t worry too much about the small amounts of spit-up while eating.. some babies are just ‘spitty.’ You can add a bit of the gas drops directly to each bottle. It will prevent the bubbles from forming in the bottle in the first place, so there isn’t nearly as much of a gas problem. The gas drops are completely safe, and it’s virtually impossible to overdose the baby with them.
Try doing the apeman bit whilst feeding. Go shirtless.
Or you could try a plastic poncho…..
Steve, go to a barber/beauty supply place and get a few of those plastic ponchos things they put over you when they cut your hair. Works fine.
Hopefully he isn’t lactose intolerant. That was the cause of my oldest’s “Exorcist” puking. Never before seen someone so small, puke so far. We’re talking firehose puke, the length of a 7 foot couch. What a mess.
We had to switch him to goats milk eventually, didn’t like soy products either, but 4-1 water to goats milk seemed to work.
Best of luck marketing your Poncho.
You know, the best way to become rich in today’s society? Find something you can make for $0.35 and sell it on cable TV for $19.95.
I think we have a winner here!
Now that our baby girl is crawling around on the hardwood floors, I have my own moneymaking idea: Swiffer baby pants.
Maybe even Swiffer sleepers.
There’s always the John Kerry teletubby suit:
I don’t envy you, thankefully mine never (and I do mean never – as in not even once) spit up. In fact he puked for the first time at about four years old – a real projectile geyser at that. Boy did he freak out then.
But a three month diaper? Hell, I would have settled for a three hour diaper. If mine felt even one single drop of dampness he would howl like a banshee. Either that, or just pull the darn thing off, and you can imagine the dangers there.
Has he pee’d in your face yet? Mine had un-erring accuracy and a healthy little prostate. And, he’d giggle every time. But now as a teenager he just pisses me off instead of pissing on me…I’m not sure which is worse.
Man, all my kids were pukers. We had beach towels covering every chair, and some shirts & pants were just relegated to “puke duty.”
The Boy is around, what?…4 months old now? He’ll outgrow the spitting up soon.
Well, many, many years ago I had my first child. She was definitely a puker. Not until she was over a year old did we get one day without vomit.
She was allergic to milk but that just meant she puked soy stuff. It was even worse than milk. Sometimes you just have to live through these things, then 50 years later you can laugh about it. Thanks goodness the next ones were healthy, hearty eaters and no puking. Just a little honest spit up occasionally.
Good luck with the coverup poncho. The beauty/barbershop idea is a good one. Fisherman slickers might work, too.
I seem to recall a seinfeld episode where Elaine came up with an idea for a detox poncho for the j. peterman catalog.
I was raised on evaporated milk and karo syrup until about 1 year, so I’ve been told.
I think it took me a few hours to give up on changing whenever I got messy. But then, as the cow, I tended to spray everywhere at the drop of a hat. And my son used to wrestle with me when it was time to eat, so it would take a good minute to latch him on. In the meantime, I’m some sort of milk version of old faithful….
TO: Stephen Green
RE: Not to Put too Fine a Point On It….
…but, if you’ll pardon the parody, you’ve been putting out ‘s—’ for quite a few years now.
The youngster is just playing ‘catch-up’ while emulating his Old Man….;-)…..
[You should be 'proud'.]
P.S. Now…all you have to do is teach him to do it on a keyboard….
make sure Melissa carries a nice big tote bag with her when you are out in public; i just learned this weekend that those bags are able to hold quite a bit of baby puke. machine washable, what a plus!
Oh man, what joy The Boy has brought already! The comments have never been so much down to earth fun.
Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?
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