Get PJ Media on your Apple

The PJ Tatler

by
Stephen Kruiser

Bio

September 23, 2013 - 9:13 pm

Which is what I thought the significant other was for

Wearable activity trackers like the Fitbit and FuelBand have seemingly spawned a trend in which people track nearly anything and everything about their lives.

Mobile app Spreadsheets takes this a step further — it tracks your performance in bed. Spreadsheets provides both statistical and historical feedback by tracking your movements and audio levels. (You have to leave the phone on the mattress beside you in order for it to monitor your activity.)

The app rewards you with status titles for things like having sex for more than 40 minutes, having a “lazy Sunday,” where you have sex at least five times on Sunday, or having sex first thing in the morning.

The ability to keep the phone on the bed next to you should preclude any kind of decent rating of your performance.

One man’s opinion.

Stephen Kruiser is a professional comedian and writer who has also been a conservative political activist for over two decades. A co-founder of the first Los Angeles Tea Party, Kruiser often speaks to grassroots groups around America and has had the great honor of traveling around the world entertaining U.S. troops.

Comments are closed.