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NFL Adopts New Rule Mandating Uniforms Consisting Entirely of Gigantic Puffy Balloons, and Games Will Be Now Be Played in Bouncy Houses

by
Bryan Preston

Bio

March 20, 2013 - 5:30 pm

Remember that rule that the NFL was looking at, that Emmit Smith said was nuts? Well, the NFL passed it today.

NFL owners passed a player safety rule Wednesday barring ball carriers from using the crown of their helmets to make forcible contact with a defender in the open field.

Several coaches and team executives expressed concern about officiating the new rule, but Commissioner Roger Goodell championed it and it passed Wednesday as the owners meetings concluded.

It passed 31-1.

Now, players carrying the ball will run the risk of a 15-yard penalty for fighting for every yard. Which is what they’re supposed to do.

A few seasons ago the Dallas Cowboys had a running back named Hambrick. He was big, had decent speed and looked the part. But when he had the choice between taking a hit to get an extra yard or stepping out of bounds, he nearly always went out of bounds. It got so bad that some fans started calling him Goldbrick. Because he wasn’t really working as hard as Smith, who had been the Cowboys’ featured back before him.

Who knew that Goldbrick was just ahead of his time? He’s the running back of the future.

Bryan Preston has been a leading conservative blogger and opinionator since founding his first blog in 2001. Bryan is a military veteran, worked for NASA, was a founding blogger and producer at Hot Air, was producer of the Laura Ingraham Show and, most recently before joining PJM, was Communications Director of the Republican Party of Texas.
All Comments   (4)
All Comments   (4)
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Remember SouthPark's Sarcastaball? Or Messiah's (PBUH) input about NFL rules?
Remember SouthPark's Sarcastaball? Or Messiah's (PBUH) input about NFL rules?
8 weeks ago Wed Mar 20 20:50:57 PDT 2013 1
8 weeks ago Wed Mar 20 20:50:57 PDT 2013 1
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“It is a foul if a runner or tackler initiates forcible contact by delivering a blow with the top/crown of his helmet against an opponent when both players are clearly outside the tackle box (an area extending from tackle to tackle and from three yards beyond the line of scrimmage to the offensive team’s end line). Incidental contact by the helmet of a runner or tackler against an opponent shall not be a foul.

You aren't supposed to use the crown of your helmet as a weapon.

This is called spearing
Article 8(f) states in pertinent part:

"If a player uses any part of his helmet (including the top/crown and forehead/”hairline” parts) or facemask to butt, spear, or ram an opponent violently or unnecessarily. Although such violent or unnecessary use of the helmet and facemask is... (show more)
“It is a foul if a runner or tackler initiates forcible contact by delivering a blow with the top/crown of his helmet against an opponent when both players are clearly outside the tackle box (an area extending from tackle to tackle and from three yards beyond the line of scrimmage to the offensive team’s end line). Incidental contact by the helmet of a runner or tackler against an opponent shall not be a foul.

You aren't supposed to use the crown of your helmet as a weapon.

This is called spearing
Article 8(f) states in pertinent part:

"If a player uses any part of his helmet (including the top/crown and forehead/”hairline” parts) or facemask to butt, spear, or ram an opponent violently or unnecessarily. Although such violent or unnecessary use of the helmet and facemask is impermissible against any opponent, game officials will give special attention in administering this rule to protecting those players who are in virtually defenseless postures . . ." (Emphasis added.)

Accordingly, it is unnecessary roughness to "spear" (i.e., use the helmet as a weapon against any player) on any play, regardless of whether the player is in a defenseless position.

This has always been the case. Why the act of "spearing" by an offensive player needs a separate rule...I'm' not clear.

(show less)
8 weeks ago Wed Mar 20 18:31:32 PDT 2013 1
8 weeks ago Wed Mar 20 18:31:32 PDT 2013 1
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But as was pointed out ably by Limbaugh in an opposition posting by a former running back, running backs are taught to lower their head and shoulders to lower their center of gravity because it makes them harder to bring down. Football is all about who has the lower center of gravity, but if you tuck your shoulders to lower your center of gravity, then you head sort of has to go with them. It means that you will inevitably make impact with your shoulders and your head without trying to spear anyone. Where your shoulders go, so goes your head.

So what this really does is keep a running back from playing the game.
But as was pointed out ably by Limbaugh in an opposition posting by a former running back, running backs are taught to lower their head and shoulders to lower their center of gravity because it makes them harder to bring down. Football is all about who has the lower center of gravity, but if you tuck your shoulders to lower your center of gravity, then you head sort of has to go with them. It means that you will inevitably make impact with your shoulders and your head without trying to spear anyone. Where your shoulders go, so goes your head.

So what this really does is keep a running back from playing the game.
8 weeks ago Wed Mar 20 19:57:09 PDT 2013 1
8 weeks ago Wed Mar 20 19:57:09 PDT 2013 1
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Might as well adopt the CFL rules because the game is going to be even more pass oriented
Might as well adopt the CFL rules because the game is going to be even more pass oriented
8 weeks ago Thu Mar 21 11:59:55 PDT 2013 1
8 weeks ago Thu Mar 21 11:59:55 PDT 2013 1
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