That’s the message today from Iranian President and chief weapons developer Mahmoud Ahmadinejad:
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says that while Iran is already a nuclear state, it has no intention of attacking Israel. Ahmadinejad was interviewed on the eve of his visit to Cairo, where he will attend the 12th Islamic Summit Conference, due to open there on Wednesday.
We saw the stealthy delivery system for the fearsome (and apparently silent) Iranian Bomb. Put the two together and you have what is the most transparent — and laugh-out-loud funny — attempt to look tough before an upcoming election since Mike Dukakis sat in that tank.
BLEG: Would some reader be kind enough to photoshop Ahmadinejad’s face onto Mike’s head? This will get you started.
Fabulous prizes awarded (not really) for the best one. Send your entry to stevegreen80132@gmail.com.
And may the best photoshop win.
Yes, and I could knock the stuffing out of Chuck Norris anytime I want I just don’t feel like it right now.
Iran has “no interest in attacking Israel”. No, they just have plenty of interest in someone else doing it. Last week after Israel hit the Syrian missiles they had this to say:
“Syria’s response to the recent aggression of the Zionist regime against this country will send this regime into a coma,” Brig. Gen. Masoud Jazayeri, the deputy chairman of the Iranian Armed Forces, said on Saturday.”
A later report indicated that the Syrian minister reminded the Iranians that Syria was busy attacking itself right now and would Iran just kindly knock the Zionists into a coma for them. The Iranians apparently responded with the Persian equivalent of “mind your own beeswax”. Hezbolla said something about having a lot of people out with the flu right now but maybe later. Hamas seemed to be having some kind of phone trouble and could not be reached.
You know, if we really wanted to mess with the heads of the Iranians, we would tell the world we had invented a teleportation device. We could (with a bit of Penn and Teller stagecraft )demonstrate the device and we could convince everyone that we had in fact transformed the world of transportation with our new technology.
Now, for the trick to have its full effect, the creator of this new technology would have to have a jewish surname and possibly be a woman as well.
We would then begin a public campaign to insinuate how far behind the Iranians were in their technology and we would of course, translate all of these “demonstrations” into farsi and make sure that it was printed on DVD, where it would make its way into the souks of the middle east and out into the hinterlands of that part of the world.
Then we sit back and wait for the Iranians to announce that they too have a teleportation device and its way better than ours.
Then we hold a press conference where we expose the fraud. Laughter ensues. If there is on thing a dictatorship cannot withstand, its mockery.
If “The Amazing Randi” and Johnny Carson can rid us of spoonbending charlatans, why cant we engage in the same effort to rid us of these idiots?
Reminds me of an old astronaut joke:
After the Americans landed Armstrong and Aldrin on the moon, the Soviets decided not to be outdone.
COMMISSAR: We will be sending our cosmonauts to the SUN!
COSMONAUT: Impossible! We will burn up!
COMMISSAR: You think we are idiots? We will send you there at night!