If you are one of the 60,928,981 Americans who voted for Mitt Romney last November, than the upcoming Inaugural events could be too gut-wrenching for you to endure.
As a Romney voter, you honestly believed that this nation could not survive four more years of “The One who will be inaugurated,” right?
And now you still believe that even more, right?
So here are some actions you can take to get through what the mainstream media will try to convince you is a “Royal Coronation,” the pride of all America, presided over by Beyonce and all her Hollywood pals.
1. Turn off all media.
2. Take long walks.
3. Go to the mountains. (if possible)
4. Go to the beach. (if possible)
5. Go camping. (if you live in a warmer climate)
6. Immerse yourself in nature anyway possible.
7. Pray for this nation.
8. Take a trip somewhere far, far away.
9. Help someone who needs your help (but does not have a working television.)
10. Visit a very large museum.
11. Read a good long book in a cabin by a stream.
12. Go shopping in large malls but avoid stores where they sell televisions.
13. Seek out other Romney voters for a comedy movie marathon.
14. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH TELEVISION.
15. If you must surf the web, only visit Drudge for a maximum of five minutes a day until “it” is over.
16. Try not to drink too heavily, but just enough to take the edge off until you can convince yourself that this nation will get through the next four years without economic collapse or without a meltdown that resembles Greece.
Now for those of you who live in the Washington D.C. metro area, you only have one choice and that is to leave town.
One Republican political consultant I know is escaping to the Sundance Film Festival. However, if that is not an option, get yourself on a plane heading somewhere warm, preferably to an island but any country where they do not speak English will do. For those on a lower budget, make your way south to a safe red state within driving distance.
A good alternative would be a relaxing trip to Rehoboth Beach (which is actually in the blue state of Delaware but very pleasant this time of year) or any of the beaches within a few hours drive of D.C. .
But if circumstances are such that you can not leave, just have a little bottle of Zoloft ready if you find yourself in a depressed state, banging your head against the wall yelling, “These people just don’t get it. These people just don’t get it.”
You are right, they just don’t get it but 60 million of us still do.
Clean out the puke from the inside of your mouth.
How about spend that time contemplating how to wrap my head around the idea that Mitt didn’t want to run?!? That is one hard edge to smooth over…but I’m willing to give it a go.
“He wanted to be president less than anyone I’ve met in my life. He had no desire to . . . run,” Tagg Romney told The Boston Globe
Depends upon your definition of “too heavily.”
Pick up your copy of the Constitution and try to remember all the good times. Like when presidents actually had to get Congressional authorization to go to war.
What? You want us to miss the dramatic Parade of Elephants in Chains which is intended to symbolize Obama’s victory over the Republican Party?
I’m gonna go out an’ put me a sticker on the bumper of my car. How’s ’bout dat?
My wife and I have been practicing many of these coping strategies ever since Election Day. We have tried to read and watch only those things that will uplift (although I cheat a bit) and try to avoid the worst of the daily round of degradation and stupidity. Still, I have a few items to add to the list:
*Sample different types of pet food, so that retirement won’t find you without a brand preference
*Try sleeping in a cardboard box or under a bridge abutment
*Practice addition until 2+2 really does equal 5
Yep, that’s a good start for the next 2 years…
Sorry, but my husband wants to take me to the Inauguration. My chances of tuning out from the miserable things are about zero. Sigh.
Earplugs and a blindfold are my recommendations.
– and they just might tie us to posts.
If the last one is any indication, you can keep busy by picking up litter.
Interestingly, Rehoboth Beach is a blue orb in a very red county (Sussex). Go to Bethany Beach instead, or do like me and move to the mountains of gettin’ redder all the time West-by God-Virginia. And yes, the bride and I will be reading books in our cabin by the stream.
“How to Survive the Inauguration If You Voted For Mitt Romney (Remember Him?)”
Remember him?
What I want is for his boosters–you not least among them, Myra–not to forget him or the mistake you made in supporting him.
Can your brain cells still for new connections?
We’ll see.
That would be “form”, not “for”.
To auto correct, or not to auto correct, in a world on the go; that is the question.
– go see Les Miserables.
This is just another of the Dark Ages. Eventually, humankind emerges.
Going to the doctor on Monday for some necessary maintenance. Hope to score some good meds, so I can snore through the Inauguration.
I’ll wake up Tuesday, ready to continue the struggle.
Most president’s second inaugural addresses have been short and to the point. Lincoln’s second was less than 1000 words. I’ll take the over on Obama and 5000 words.
Initially as one of the suggestions I had written, “Have an operation you have been putting off.”
Then I deleted it. So I was very amused to see your comment. Best wishes that it goes well.