If it was a dinosaur, it would be a Crapasoraus Rex.
If it was a painting, it would be The Mona Crappa.
And if it a was an actress, it would be Crapalina Jolie.
But this is Klavan on the Culture interpreting President Obama, so it can only be, Talking Crap 3: ABSOLUTE CRAP!!!
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Craptastically crapalicious!