Only a day after we watched pundits and commentators bend over backwards and do cartwheels to inform us the events in Sydney were not about Islam but about one deranged individual, the mass murder of school children in Peshawar occurred, an act reminiscent of Pol Pot at his worst with a soupçon of Dr. Mengele. Our considerate and sophisticated State Department rushed in to reassure us that this was the work of the Pakistani Taliban, not the Afghani Taliban with whom the Department is trying to make some sort of deal as the U.S. troops exit that country. Never mind that these Taliban said this was only a “trailer” and that there was more to come, or as our buddy Richard Fernandez put it so succinctly, “Who cares about mere beheadings anymore? That’s so yesterday.”
No, the Department has moved on to its more important work, badgering Israel. In that they are joined by the Europeans, who are falling all over themselves to recognize a Palestinian state in the Security Council. The U.S. normally vetoes this nonsense, but not our John Kerry. He is playing it coy, saying he hasn’t seen the details yet. Or maybe he wants to wait to see if the North Koreans blow up our movie theaters first. Meanwhile, the Democratic Party is in an orgy of recrimination for so-called torture techniques they all signed on to in the first place. It’s a nightmare. U.S. foreign policy in the Obama-Clinton-Kerry years has turned into a bad revival of The Rocky Horror Show. We might as well get it over with and hand our country to the Taliban and ISIS. After all, they’re not Islamic. Our president told us. So they’ll be tolerant of other religions, even atheists. Yes, they have some problems with women, but our feminists will set them to rights, after they get rid of Hirsi Ali.
Oh, wait a minute. The Taliban and ISIS are Sunnis. That wouldn’t be fair — especially with all the time we’ve spent negotiating with the nice Iranians who are Shiites, as we know. We have to give them something. I know they get a bomb, but that’s not territory. That’s just potential territory, after the fallout clears. Maybe we should also give them Chicago. They have the kind of draconian laws that might cut down on the Windy City’s murder rate. And they actually do torture there — the real kind. Forget waterboarding. That’s for kindergarteners in Iran. Google Evin Prison. And while we’re at it, we can send Dianne Feinstein over there. She can do a report.
Yes, we’ve got a great foreign policy in this country. Just ask Putin and Medvedev. They’ll be glad you did because they’re kind of gloomy these days over the price of oil. But never mind, they’ll find a way back. Maybe they’ll take a few Baltic states — all those good seaports.
Sounds bad, huh? Tough times ahead for good old Western Civ. Well, I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re not teaching that stuff in our schools anymore, so nobody knows what it is.